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How to resolve conflicts and disagreements in a positive way with your spouse

Arguments and conflicts are part of every relationship. However, it is important to manage them well to keep a positive and strong connection with your partner. Below are some helpful tips on how to deal with conflicts and arguements in a healthy manner.

Listen actively

It's crucial to actively listen to your partner when there are conflicts. This means fully focusing on what they are saying without interrupting, judging, or formulating a response in your head. As you listen, use clarifying inquiries to make sure that you are understanding their viewpoint.

You can use "I" in your sentences

Instead of using the word "you", express how your partner's actions or behaviors make you feel by using an "I". Instead of saying, "you don't listen to me", you could say: "I feel like I am not being heard when we aren't communicating effectively". It is important to avoid blaming the other person and focus on your own personal experience.

Take a break

You should take time out to allow yourself to cool down when you're feeling emotional. This may involve taking a walk, practicing some deep breathing exercises, or engaging in a calming activity such as yoga or meditation. The break will help you avoid the argument escalating, and give you a chance to return to it with a more clear mind.

Find common ground

Instead of focusing solely on the differences, and trying to prove which party is correct or incorrect, find a common ground. Work towards finding a solution for both parties. Search for areas of commonality and expand on these instead of focusing solely on differences.

Absolutes are not appropriate

Absolute words like "always", or "never", can cause an argument to escalate and it will be difficult to resolve. Use these words sparingly and focus instead on specific incidents or behaviors that have caused the conflict.

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Accept responsibility and apologize for any wrongdoing. Take steps to apologize if necessary. You will build your partner's trust by showing that you have a commitment to resolve conflict in a healthy manner.

Seek outside help

If conflicts and arguments become chronic or are particularly challenging to work through, seeking outside help may be necessary. It can involve couples therapy, mediation, or counseling. Unbiased third parties can offer guidance in resolving conflicts and strengthening relationships.

Arguments and conflicts are natural parts of relationships, but can be managed in a healthy manner. You can resolve conflicts in a healthy way by actively listening to your partner, using “I” statements, taking frequent breaks, finding common grounds, not making absolutes, accepting responsibility and asking for outside assistance when necessary. Remember, conflict is an opportunity for growth and strengthening your relationship, not a sign of failure.
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