Notes

Explaining Myself A Bit...
Why did you promise me happiness? You never had EVER in our years of knowing one another did you ever show me that. I'm disappointed in myself, I could've found or done something better. But it's your fault, I get attached and I can't cut people off. So, it's either YOU did something wrong, or SOMEHOW, I MESSED UP. I've put others first and got nothing in return. I want my required support/care. I want someone that I could agree with, tell them I love or care for them. I want to be on the same page but different paragraph or lines. I love that type of love. I don't understand how hard it is to care/support/love someone; how could we every be on the same page... if, you, don't understand what the text means? All I want to do is cry. I want to sob and yell out EVERY GODDAMN THING I WANTED TO SAY AFTER 4 YEARS. I can't anymore. I really can't. I am sorry, I really am trust me. If I could go back in time, and chose or wish something, it'll be to never meet you. If I had an opportunity to make that ONE mistake, I would make it. I would leave you and be happy.

Memories...
There was a time back then, around 5 years ago, I tried to walk in the street... and get hit by a car. My grandma yelled at me, calling me crazy, stupid, and other slurs. It was a dark time back then; it still is now. Just I have a bitter burden (a little bit) of my shoulders. I feel happier with my friends currently. Hopefully I can stay friends, till we're older. Maybe till we're dead, that'll be nice. Death. Me and my friend (Not going to say), she and I were good friends. "Good Friends". Not anymore, she barely talks to me, EVERY SINGLE TIME I AM NEAR HER I feel worthless. She has a dad, a mom, and good support system. But me? Me, a girl in this world who barely gets by the day without feeling somewhat sad. She told me, "Will be best friends, we're going to help one another, support one another, and care for one another." BUT GUESS WHAT. She never did. I want to leave. Go somewhere far - far away. No one will be able to see me again. I'll cover up my face, I'll change who I am, I'LL EVEN GIVE UP EVERY SINGLE THING I HAVE JUST TO BE HAPPY. I really will.