Notes

i am sad. i cannot help it. i'm feeling really sad rite now. why did we even fight? why did i follow u? what was i thinking? my life is not based on u. i shouldn't followed u. i shouldn't have just said 'yes' on everything that u did. it was like i was being hypnotized by u. it was like u, trying to conquer my life. u just make people agreed on u on everything. and u 'Z' u were saying bad things about 'F' but then the next day u were the closest to here. wtf ??!! its like u said lots of bad things about her, but u still trying to be nice to her. listens to her problems and else. and do i have to always starts the conversation first? do i have to? cant u at least tries to starts the conversation first. if i kept on starting the conversation, one day u will think like 'why should i start the conversation? she's still going to start the conversation first. so, what do i care. she'll still be looking for me. i don't have to worry about her' Ya Allah, can u please help me to find peace. i am just tired with all of this. i cant be patient anymore. i just want to all of this to stop. and start over. i need to be more mature about choosing friends. choosing best friends. i need to be more careful about this. its not like they are not the 'best friend' for me. but i know i can find someone better than them. if i am meant to be friends with them, i hope that i can change my attitude. i hope that i will not say bad things about them anymore. i will try my best until the very end. i hope that they can be more sincere to me. and not say bad things about me anymore. girls like gossiping but i saying bad things about your own best friend is totally not cool. like seriously. we need to settle all of this. i really want to start all over. i am really hoping that 2014 will bring luck to me. and i hope i can study really and stop playing and not studying seriously. i need to be aware of PBSMR. fighting! chaiyokk girl . u can do it. i know i can but i cannot be lazy anymore and quit playing around. InsyaAllah! Ya Allah please grant my wish, my doa so that i will be a better daughter, student, friend, best friend, and mostly a good ummah to Prophet Muhammad S.A.W.