Notes

A heart to heart talk.
It is already december of 2012. which means this year is coming to a close end. which means one more year has passed. and what am i to say?... i know this year, when i write my end-of-the-year letter, i'll have a lot of things to talk about. i believe i am going to pick up some of the things that were in vogue in 2011. yes, can you believe that, still picking up 2011! i obviously do not want to get ahead of myself, but i guess everyone can tell and everyone knows that one of the most important events of this year was precisely the weight loss. yes yes yes. the weight loss. but wait guys, i know it all. yes yes, i know how much looks don't matter, i know how much better it is to deal with our hearts and souls and not worry so much about the body, and let us all look at each other's souls and live happier and yeah ^-^. But no. that doesn't work like that! you have a body, for god's sake! it is your job to take care of it! don't underestimate it! of course i feel happier about my weight loss, and i love all the pounds that i no longer have. and i want to lose many more. about 20 more pounds. yes. i know it is easy. of course i do know that. i've been stuck on my 80s for about a month. but yeah, i guess there's always that barrier that symbolizes a major weight loss. and for me that would be entering the 70s. but i understand my weight and how my body works. it's been about 2 years of non-stop weight gain. of course it'll take a while before i get back to my previous weight. but i'm okay with that. you see, here, what i want the most is to feel good about myself. reminder, i've been on my 76s and back then, i was completely miserable. so even though i was thinner than today, i felt terrible. it's important to go through a diet process. you get to know so much about your body and your mind! i wouldn't have this any other way. i do feel pretty now. or at least, pretty ish. clothes and all that are no longer a prison and yeah. that is good. i am able to take pictures and to like them. nontheless, i know i need to pay more attention to what i eat. sometimes it's hard to resist certain foods, specially when you've been a food addict for a little while. but i do need to eat less bad things. i'll work as hard as possible this week. if i don't work hard, well then i'll have it shown on my weighscale. in a way, if my weight stays the same or if i've gained any, it's my fault. i am the one who decides what goes down my mouth. so yeah.

even though the weight loss is being amazing and i am very happy about it, i can't help but feel... bored. as if all things weren't fulfilling enough. there's nothing else i see myself doing. i mean, i love my shows, my music is pretty special, my people too, the games as well, i even enjoy what i study, etc. so, what gives? it has came to my mind that perhaps i'm in need of a boyfriend... but then i thought to myself that that was stupid for someone like me. i am just looking forward to holidays. three reasons, i'd say. 1) it'll be nice to have a "change" around here, 2) it's christmas!!!!, 3) last year my holidays were given a bad name, time to make it up. so yeah. this boreness... hm. ah guys, anyway! <3