Notes

I have been thinking about suicide like never before and I've come to the conclusion that the only appropriate way out is to commit suicide, which I will do on 11th of January, 2017.

The reason I'm doing that is mainly because of my lack of social skills, I can hardly get friends and if I do, there's always that annoying piece of shit that ruins it for me entirely, there's a set level of stress I can handle regarding that fact and I've hit that level of stress, if not long exceeded it. It all begun when the Pheedy stage encountered my life, it has destroyed my closest friendships and made new ones, most if not all friends were only my friend because of the fact they simply felt bad for me, not because of the fact they wanted to know me or anything like that. The only friends I've had after and during the Pheedy stage are Kevin and Tessa, although that a fat piece of shit screwed that up for me, it had potential up until that point. Right after I found out about this fact, I simply couldn't take it anymore and have decided that ending my life is the only solution to this problem. I'd much rather die than to deal with things including but not limited to Pheedy and failed friendships. Let's be honest here, I won't even be friends with Kevin for long, because one day Pheedy will definitely fuck that up just as well. It's just time for me, and I have to live knowing I can't ever create a friendship without someone else having to screw it up for me. It's as if I don't deserve social contact and I slowly begin to believe this fact.

December 20 2016,
Xander Sterrenburg