Yeah 👈👍 I'm not 👎🙅❌turned on 😩👄💦 but it's the first 👆🥇1️⃣ thing that came 👅🍆💦up 👆💹🆙while searching 🔭🔍🤔for anything violence+babies 👊🙀👶🚼related. I think 🤔💭I 👁👀can explain🗣💬 the joy 💁😺😬I get out of seeing👀👁 babies/fetuses dead/mutilated/hurt 😱☠️🤕😷with a little 👌background info📱🔮📜📒. I have had three abortions in my life✊️😫👍. The first 👆1️⃣easily carried the most emotional 😹😿😽😸weight for me. I was violently 👊🙀🤕raped 🍆💦😮 😏by someone who I thought 💭 🤔was my best friend 💆💆♂️for three years 📆🕘⏰before he 🙎♂️👨⚖️👷did what he did to me. I got pregnant👶👩👦🚼, hooray 😁😄😻:/ I had to work 🔨🛠💰at the fair🎡🎪🤹♂️, which happened to be passing 👉🙋through town 🏭🏚🏘at the time⏱⏰⏲. It was the only👆1️⃣ place I could find 🔬🤔to hire 💴💰💸me under such shortnotice with my "condition"👶👩💼. I was 18, with almost no 👎🙅work⛏🔩⛓ experience (my hometown has three colleges 🏫👩🎓🔖so it's hard 😏🍆to get compete 🏃🥇🏋️♀️with experienced college 🏫👩🎓👨🎓transplants for work when you're a young 👱♀️👩🔧teen), and I explained 🗣💬to the guy 👴👷in charge why I needed money 💵💸💰fast💨. I worked🛠🔨⚙️ in the hot😩😰🔥 sun🌞🌝🌟, puking 😷🤢🤧😱often⏱⏰🔜 and sometimes passing ➡️📙🏈out. I desperately😩😰😵 craved cigarettes🚬, but I couldn't 😳👎🙅smoke🚭 🌫because my pregnancy👶. It wasn't a health ⛑🏥😷or ethical 🤔👩💼hangup, I mean smoking 🚬💣made me 👩🔧violently🙌😈👊😵 hurl🤢, and if my stomach was empty❌🆓⚪️ (it was most of the time ⏰⏱🕰because I couldn't 🚭👎😾0️⃣keep ANYTHING down), I'd just puke 👄🤢😷up ☝️🔝bile and stomach acid. Or dry heaves--fun🎊🎉😺. So work 🗡⚙️🔧was really 💯miserable😭😰😔, but I had to put on a happy 🤡😜😘face and get parents👨👩👧👦💏💑 to buy 💳💰💵kids 👩👧👦👧👦over priced stuffed giraffes 🐛🎋🐘and bouncy balls 🏀⚽️🏐so that commission would roll 🎱🚴🥁in. my rapist😰🍆 basically laughed 😹😬😝at me when I asked🤔💋 for money🤑💵💸💰. None of my friends 😀😎😜believed me, because the culprit was a handsome😏👱, cool🕶❄️☃️ guy. I'd probably met almost half my friends👯♂️💇👭 through him, even. I managed to pay💲💱💳 for my abortion through my hard🍆🤤 work. But leading🔜⬆️⛹️♀️ up to that, I would get so frustrated 😤😡👿by my situation. I mean, being raped 😱🍆💦is a disgusting 🙀🤢😷feeling I could never 👎🙅❌describe. It's being violated 🙀😪🤢to the core💔. But then, even thinking 🤔💭👁🗨about it now I start to feel sick 🤢😷🤕and my heart ♥️❤️races 🚴♀️🏇🏃♀️with anxiety, having that heinous violation 👊👎🙀leave something inside 👉👌👅you...something that grows☘️🌴🌿, and lives...it's like it's presence was raping 👉👌😪me everyday⏲📅📰. And my body paid 💵💰💸for it to do it. The vomiting🤢😷, the cramps😩🤕 and aches😔😖, the emotional exhaustion😓😴😪, and I could envision 🤔💭👀it inside my mind👤💇🎓, stealing 🏃🏿👨🏿💼💰what little bit of nutrients I could keep down👇⬇️. It was stealing 🏃🏿🙎🏿♂️💎life 🌱🌷🐈from me. It had no 🙅😤👎right to be there. It was put there by a sick🤢😷🤕, manipulative, criminal 🙎🏿♂️abuser 🙎🏿♂️🤜👊and I had to take care ⛑👩👦👶of it and nurture it?? I couldn't wait ⏲⏰📆to get it out 💉🔪🛀of me. I would get so angry😾😡😤, and I would feel like I was being raped 🍆💦🌝all over again, and I would scream 🗣🙀😵at my stomach, sometimes in traffic🚗🚦🚧 (I probably looked👀👁 completely insane🙀👻😳), I'd punch 🤜👊✊️my gut, screaming 😱🗣🖕at it to get the fuck 🖕👉👌out. Screaming 🗣👂👼at the top of my lungs that I hate 😤🖕🙅it. When I finally⏰🕰⌛️ got the procedure 🔪💉👼done, as a friend 👯♂️👭🕺drove 🚦🚌🚕me home🏢🏚🏠, I cried😭. I cried 😿and cried 😢and cried😪, because I was so happy👍😸😁. In my state🇺🇸, they don't👎❌🚫 give pain🤕🤒😵 mess during the abortion🔨🔪💉, but I could barely feel it compared to how elated 😩😝😁I was to finally kill 😵🗡❌that rapist 🙀🍆🍩demon 👹😈👺spawn. I had my life 💇🏃♀️👗back. It was like being reborn👶🤰👼, and I just wept😂😓😿 with joy😸😎😝. Anyway, I never thought 🤔💭about that much when I started realizing 💡🤔💭more and more that I enjoyed 😩😛😋kids 👧👶👦being hurt. At first, I thought of myself as a typical jerk 😤😡🖕who thought it was funny 😹😂😆when a kid 👶👼👧gets his ice cream ❄️🍦🍧knocked out of his hand ✊️✋️🤜or gets slapped🙌🙏🤤 in a movie🎥🎞💿. Then I realized 💭🤔💡it was darker 🖥📺🔌than that. I mean, if a kid 👼🤰👶acted up, I wanted 😽😁😫to see it get hit 🤛😹👏hard and cry😿😭, and get hit 🤜👐😵more for crying.😢😩😭 I hated 😡😤🙅everything about kids👼👦👶---their undeveloped sense of empathy, their completely non 🚫❌🅾️existent independence, demanding 🗣👦👇nurturing from others. I realized 🤔💡I'd definitely never be able to be a mom🤰👩👧👨✈️. Then I found 📡🔭🔍myself smiling 😺🙂😀and laughing😂😽😹 when I saw "nanny 🙍🏽abusing👏👊😾 baby 👶👼🤰caught on tape" type stuff. And dead ☠️👻😵fetuses, oh boy😻🤤😩. Only recently🕰⏱⏰ when I was reading 📰📔📖some b.s. about abortion💉🗡👼 "thwarting maternity🙆👩👧 instincts" did I think about where my hatred 😾😡😤of children 🙇🙇♀️👱♀️and babies👦👶👼 might have stemmed🌱🎋🌿 from. But I don't 👎🙅❌feel robbed 🏃🏿🙎🏿♂️🎁or broken⚔️⚖️🔪. I don't 👎🙅❌ feel the urge to commit violence🔪🛫🏢 or go out and get pregnant🤰👼👉👌 just to get an abortion 👼🔨🗡lol, I just love 👄👅🤤watching 👀👁when it happens. Sorry😪😓😥 for the rant😤🗣, just thought I'd offer 🗣💬what is probably not👎🙅🚫 the most common perspective. And if you were wondering, 🤔❓💭the other abortions 👼🔨🔪were while I was on birth 😫👉👶control and my partner👫💑 pulled out👈👌. Once you get pregnant👼🤰, your body💃🚶♀️🤦♀️ is twice as likely to do it again, and exponentially more so each time. So even with birth👌👉👼 control, condoms, and pulling out🍆🔙🍑 combined I apparently can get knocked✊️📻🔨 up. ¯(ツ)/¯
