Notes

ts always about everyone else like i'm your child can you stop babying everyone else for a second and she doesn't have her license so she uses the excuse there's a lot of cops out yet when her or my dad have to go buy pills or weed there's never cops out,when she has to take one of my family members somewhere never cops out,when she has to go get my dad legit candy never cops out except the one time i ask for something it's the middle of winter so its kinda hard to walk places as much as i do and the record shop i wanna go to is legit only 3 minutes away in our old neighborhood i can't walk because we just moved and i have no idea where to walk to and i don't have a phone anymore and my parents won't buy me one because we don't have enough money but if you seen everything we had you;d call bullshit we aren't the richest but we do have like highest speed internet,cable,video game systems and they legit spend 50 dollars a day on just weed legit 50 dollars a day i know this because my aunt sells them weed and she tells me everything yet i have had the same pair of shoes and boots since two years ago and my phone would only be 50 dollars to replace yet for some fucking reason they choose to just fuck me over at every chance they get they don't even give a shit about me anymore they basically said to give up on my dreams on going to college in some big city to basically just go to a public college here and get a j0b and live here, i said i wanted to join the marines of course they have a problem with that too i made a joke and said "When are you gonna start saving up for college cause im broke" and my dad got pissed and said "I cant even save up enough to get what we all want what makes you think i can save up for you to go to college" like that shit hurts.My mom constantly takes his side like it's getting so bad to where i'm just walking out of the house like she doesn't try to comfort me she never takes my side she just basically passes me off to my aunt my parents are constantly in their room they are in there 24/7 i had a mini fridge and they legit fucking stole it from me and they take like half of everything from the house and put it in there so they're never don stairs my parents don't even cook anymore let alone take care of their own children my moms sister and mom basically does everything they are so uninvolved in their life they even bitch and complain when my 5 year old sister who obviously has autism cries and asks for hug and kiss like they complain about it the other day my little sister was playing and bashed her head on the table and of course my parents didn't see it because they were upstairs watching tv while me and my aunt and grandma took care of her they gave her baby asprin and basically said she's okay.Everyone just has a way of treating melike shit in this family jenny choked and hit me dee hits me my grandma bullies me like all the time my dad is a jackass too me yet nobody ever takes my fucking side i'm always alone and im starting to resent my mother because shes a fucking shitty mother who only ever cares about weed and pills she basically abandoned her fucking children she spends all her money on coffee,ciggeretts,vics,and weed but god forbid you take me to a fucking record shop or even act like you give a shit about what im saying.Fuck this entire emotionally abusive and physically abusive family im so sick and tired of being treated like this.I dont even feel comfortable with asking them for anything they're so shitty and i honestly think they're trash they're so fucking dirty who keeps a hpuse looking like this theres clutter everywhere you can't even open a door without trash falling on you.They sit in a room and smoke weed and ciggs all day thats all you smell their car smells disgusting they look like trahs i fucking hate them so fucking much and he wont even put the fucking toilet seat down its all i ask from him but he wont do it and i stepped in pee one time i see the seat is always covered in pee its fucking disgusting and honestly some nights i stare at my knife an think about how easy it would be to just go in their room and stab them both to death even if i only get to murder one of them it would make my life a fuck ton easier im already alone what would the difference be if im honest only reason i havent done it is because i really like tv and hot girls and there isnt much of that in prison so i kinda gotta cope woth my hatred for them until im 17 then i will never have to see their fucking faces again none of this family actually even though ill miss nadine i just need to get away from them all they're unhealthy they breed unhealthy pests they compared me to christan all my fucking life i could never be better than that stuck up snobby piece of shit he was always better than me he dressed better,had more money,more friends,the family loved him,went to better schools but of course then theres me if i acted the way he did everyone would be riding my ass till no tomorow but because its him its fucking fine its perfectly okay fuck this family im gonna be better than all of you