Notes

Friday 19th January 2018;I want to write about my life and what I am thinking about. I don't know why , how or when I started thinking about that gorgeous girl..
I thought that I will never love or think about another girl , because life was so mean to me and it took the one I thought my heart belongs to her ; then she appeared and I felt like I ve never loved someone else before .. sometimes I really get lost when I want to explain my thoughts and put them into words ; anyway, I really can't stop thinking about her , every day hoping a miracle would happen to see her or just send me a message and I ll feel like I am alive again ; it's really weird those feelings;
I love the way my mind starts to think when I like a girl and I wanna see her naked soul , not only her naked body. the first time I saw her , I forgot about every little problem I m having in my life , I wanted just to sit with her and have a deep conversation; as she said , SOMETIMES I SIT AND THINK , AND SOMETIMES I JUST SIT, all I wanted is to sit and think with her; Goddaamn !! her eyes are the universe . sometimes , I wonder how many guy fall in loved her from the first sight .. I still don't know when or how or why those feelings started with me , but all I know is that I really want her to be in my life more than anyone else , I want to discover the world with her; but it's so hard for a normal guy , like me , to have her ; I see that as an impossible goal to achieve in my life . I m so curious about her , and who knows maybe one day she ll read this ; I stopped believing in love and so I convinced myself that it's a lie and we can find it only in movies; even they just act that and they got paid to do it .
deep inside , a feeling of a child; outside , the look of a serious man. the worst thing you have to deal with ever is to fake emotions.. I have not spend much time with her , but I feel like I want to keep writing about her till I fall asleep and dream , so that I can dream of her dark-lovely eyes , her wonderful pink lips , and her skin which makes the time stop when I shake her hands . I m laughing because it's the first time I find it verry hard to tell a girl that I like her .
talking to her became the biggest fear , after I used to hate girls for two years.
when I ask my mind about the girl he dreams about and wants to spend the rest of his time with her , my heart scream : SIHAM.
I believe that everyone I meet in my life has something to teach me , I don't know what this girl has to teach me.
I see loyalty in her eyes , that's all a man needs in his entire life.
well , maybe first I wanted to talk about my life and the way things are going , since I have not wrote for a long time . but it seems she took all the mind and heart with her .
WHY LIFE DOING THIS TO ME ? I promised myself that there will be no other girl , and I m single about two years have not thought about any girl .
all the thoughts are about her now , can't think about something else exept her eyes , I can't even keep staring at them ; I got afraid of falling in love , and what a lie I tell myself, Farid you still don't have feeling toward her .. /BIGLIE/
I overthink about her and life is a hoe , this may drive me crazy ..
so I ll let it to another day and write something ...
since I can't tell her that I love her , I LOVE YOU SIHAM .
I feel really some weird feelings .
may the things I think about come true as soon as possible cause I really can't wait to touch her , kiss her , hug her and tell her that I am ready to do anything for her .
I m dead-loss in expressing feelings and showing love , but she made me feel someting else , she gave me new meaning and taste of life . she is perfection .