Notes

this sensation of weight on my heart, only present when i hear the buzz of my phone and i know its from her. why have that much of an interest in me? is it because i sympathize instead of gloating over her looks, because thats what shes used to? what a problem to have, to be a hollow trophy. But what about me? Do i always have to see things in a calculated way? Its only recently that ive realized that you grow up when you realize you need something more than your own company. My mind is terrible at connecting thoughts, but thats fine.
Back to her, so its true that all guys are the same. Its just a fact. As much as we hear the cliche and try to be different, its not gonna happen. Thats why im conflicted, shell realize it.
If anyone does end up reading this stream of consciousness, think about my theory of love. If you can have fun standing in line at the DMV, more so than a married couple on their honeymoon, thats love. So a good test is, "can i talk to this person about anything and literally anything, and still click." not sure with her. i miss Amina