Notes

I don't really know where to start..

Well I guess I'll start it with what was really the gateway to it all.

So way back in 2015-2016 I became so sick that my stomach could no longer hold in solid food and I'd end up vomiting every time I ate so I was in the hospital for 2 months, after that they sent me home with an ng tube (look it up if you don't feel pain easily) and was hooked up to a thing that fed me food through it that i walked around with. The hospital wouldn't give a doctors excuse for all the days i missed though and if i went back id be put in jail for truancy, so i ended up in homeschooling for the rest of the year. During that year my grandmother and aunt died, and I lost 90% of the friends I made after 5-6 years of knowing them because they forgot me. I was left with 3 friends for 2 years after that because of homeschooling and then after online school which we'll get to. At the end of my homeschooling year they lost all of my records so i was forced to repeat that grade and I switched to an online school called K12. This was the year that REALLY got shitty for me, I started losing 2 of my last 3 friends only one of which i still really talk to, I started flunking in school because no one at K12 would help me learn how the website worked and i barely passed at the end of the year so i was constantly under stress ALL year. Then during this time my Great Grandmother died, my god father died, i was forced to move away from everything i had know for 8 years then I found out that 1 of those 3 friends got in a car accident that killed them and that's why they stopped talking to me, and i had know this friend since i was in 2nd grade, this ended up throwing me into a state of depression that i'd never felt before, like i was in a void of some sort where no one could hear me and i couldn't get out, everything started flooding my mind from the last year and a 1/2, i was laying in my bed that whole night losing it.
-I had lost all of my friends, one forever that I'd never forget.
-Some of my closest family members died
-School was a shit show that never seemed to stop giving
-I was damaged permanently by the medical stuff
-I was alone in a world that kept hitting me left and right
Then this year (2017-2018) my grandfather was diagnosed with dementia and he doesn't remember me anymore, he was the person I was closest with out of my entire family, he was like my Best Friend.

This is barely around 1/2 the stuff that happened but the other 1/2 is a bunch of really personal stuff and or stuff that's way too much.