Notes

the state of florida has asked us to
disclose our sexual crimes to you
we were bad but now we're good
we're moving into your neighborhood
yk we're trying our best to be
functioning members of society
we're not here to start no trouble
we're legally required to do the sex offender shuffle

im larry arthauer and ill refrain
from touching my neighbors kids again
what i did was not too kind
but im a nice guy, ull come to find
ive got a backyard and a real nice pool
yall should come over for a barbecue
we could make some cold drinks in my blender
but do keep in mind that im a sex offender

vernon douglas is my name
my battery arrest is what brought me fame
but theres much more to know about me
i love to dance and i love to ski
i zip and zoom on thru the snow
js strap on my boots and watch me go
but i cant ski until december
til then im js a sex offender

im charles dolling, dropping rhymes
ive been arrested seven times
ik that sounds like a lot
but three of those times were for vandalism
i feel real bad, i got caught
i might do it again, probably not
im not here to make pretences
im here because of my sex offences

im sam pound, im number one
apologizing for what ive done
in case ur wondering what that was
i snuck into a bathroom and (oh HELL no)
(oh HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL NO)
(OH HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL NO)
im not here to eat no truffles
im just here to do the sex offender shuffle

hey everybody im laura hughes
proving girls can do it too
and by it, i mean touch your cousin
was it worth it? no it wasnt
you wont find me in your child's play set
cuz i gotta wear this ankle bracelet
im not here to go on a bender
im here because im a sex offender

last name burmholdt, first name marc
im moving in somewhere on your block
not in a house, but in a van
if u need me to move it, i sure can
the last thing i want is any trouble
ive learnt my lesson from the sex offender shuffle

im the one they call arthur chase
they said i didnt have to show my face
my first trial ended in a hung jury
if im found guilty theyll un-blur me
im not the necrophiliac arthur chase
that's a different arthur chase
im not here to be my own defender
im here because im possibly a sex offender

okay, real quick, im not like these people
okay, this is an extortion plot by my ex wife
whos the only witness and she's trying to take away my kids, and if-
im not here to pack my duffle
im just here to do the sex offender shuffle

the state of florida has asked us to
disclose our sexual crimes to you
we were bad but now we're good
we're moving into your neighborhood
yk we're trying our best to be
functioning members of society
we're not here to start no trouble
we're legally required to do the sex offender shuffle