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ever since my mom died i really been sad. I cry everycahnce i get and lock myself in my room. I trynot to cry but its hard not to. sometimes i have thoughts about cutting myself. sometimes i just want to go missing. Sometimes i wish a hole would open up and swallow me whole. Idk why my life is like this. Idk why this has to be me. Ik im ugly. My friends say im beautiful but she prettier. Sometimes she can be a real pick me. "Imso dumb, yourr soooo smart. O.mg you gorgeous! Im sooo ugly" shes starting to change. I wish it was like when we first met "i look so good today! Wanna ft after school??". Sometimes at school. I go to the bathroom and scratch my self with a pen. Ik its not good but it makes some pf my other paingo away. I cant see the other kuds see my cry. It makes me look stupid and weak. Sometimes i just want a hug. Something i also think about is sucidal thoughts. I think of what would happen if i kms. I dont want to but i honestly think that it would be a bit better if i wasnt here! :))

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