The upset is simple: I spent an entire week handling a cycle for you on several levels and at quite some cost to me. I did not prospect, like I had intended to because I was very concerned to leave you at home all week while I was away. I had many attention units on this, but I also noticed that you didn't really know where to start or how to go about fixing the issues at hand. So I handled the Cobalt as much as I could in the time limit I had and not asking you for technical help, in the fear that you would get confused and drop the cycle. So when I left you with the final tasks and asked you to deal with them in order to comply with the legal issue (which is the expired license plates from OCT 2015), I expected you to be able to handle it immediately so that you could do what you needed to do or even to just go out without any issues, legal or otherwise, which is what I had all of my attention units on. I didn't have to buy tires or change the tail light or wash the car or change the wipers...I just had to get the oil change and handle the battery, if we were going to ignore the expired plate issue or the PNO issue (which are ticketable and impoundable offenses). So when I invest money and time (which I really shouldn't have done, because I was treading on thin ice and I totally fucked up the CC balance I had on my cards before i decided to take all of this on) to get this done for you, I had an expectation to have you do the final small and relatively easy cycles that were left, such as the State Inspection & the DMV cycle. When I find out that not only have you NOT done the most important of the 2 cycles and that you've been driving around anyway, then I begin to feel like, "Why did I even put in the work? You didn't handle the cycle that ALL OF THE WORK WAS DONE FOR." I was putting myself at risk every time I went out with the car so that you wouldn't have to, but then you did put yourself at risk ANYWAY, even when everything was handed to you on a silver platter. Then, after I get upset and feel like I had wasted my time, money and effort. I then get very failed purposey about you and the car and my efforts to do things for you. I then start to see that maybe it's not worth it and maybe I need to change my operating basis and then I think about how bad that would be for you, because it would be unpleasant and it would drive a wedge between us, but production would go up significantly. And finally, the fact that I need to spend this much time and effort, spend so much time in a state of mental anguish, cry, sit in frustration and confusion as to why something so simple, yet so important wasn't handled, just to have my upset undermined and overlooked and invalidated by remarks that basically tell me, "Yeah, I didn't do it. I was busy. Why does that upset you? You had to do this anyway. You weren't doing anything anyway. You helped me and that should be enough for you, so why are you mad?"...Only to end up having to write a small novel worth of explanation because you are unwilling to get the hint or are unable to perceive your own responsibility in this matter and so feel, hence, unphased by the upset at hand. I instead must keep my composure, internalize my upset, get no relief, no satisfaction, no win, no production time back, no facilitation of what I'm doing, no shortcuts a lost train of thought and I still end up at square one, because my money is on you not understanding this and taking it as cheap theatrics or having some other misconception of what i'm feeling right now because at the end of this, I know that your inability to empathize with other's frustration and your happy-go-lucky attitude will prevail, and so you'll probably learn nothing from this and will, moreover, completely forget about this (which is tightly tied to irresponsibility according to "State of Man"). I will even go so far as to say that you'll get defensive because of circuits and M-U Phenomena and then you'll miss the point of my pointing out what I think you're going to do and instead take it as an evaluation instead of what it is...which is an observation of things you say and do before, during and after an upset. I'm doing this in the hopes that you'll see or catch yourself and begin to formulate and change in yourself as a result. Although, because I'm telling you this and my understanding of LRH has lead me to believe that to tell someone where to look for something in their own case is unlikely to be effective in helping said person, that I may have made a mistake here, but I hope that I didn't and that maybe, in some inevitable future upset, you will think back to this one and catch yourself before your usual circuits and reactive thought processes kick in. I have to get back to work. Thanks for reading. See you later. Please don't call me until I'm done. I'll text you when that is. I have a lot of work to get done.
