Notes

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This letter is to Natnael Zereit
Okay I can say alot because honestly I'm rlly confused about my feelings right now. You have been a big part of my life for about 6 months eventhough i knew you before asw.Recently i havent been understaning my feelings and emotions alot and i dont know how my heart acc feels about you.idk if i acc like you or I like the thought of love or i like chasing or missing or being depressed or i like the feeling that someone does acc like me.maybe i js cant get over the fact it ended like this and i couldnt get you maybe its js my pride and the fact its been so long and we didnt get tog.maybe i want a bf rlly bad and u were close to being that.idk when you started liking me but i will alwas rmb the day on martyers day in the ride back home telling myself betty stop you cant like a younger.however my mind kept o thinking about when we were holding hands and offfff the butterflies were going crazy.one thing that you taught me if that its alright for a girl to go for a younger.i dont rmb who i liked that time but i think i was js starting to get over yoram so i didnt rlly take you that siriously.i have liked youngers before without knowing their age and thinking we were the same age but ive only kinda liked one yr youngers a few ties.and idk if it was liking or finding them rlly attractive.anyways after the break.yh so like there was those periods after the beach trip when i missed u sooooooooo bad and it was in the summer hoildays and i thibk you went turkey but like he longing was rllyyy bad.like i would be in bed js sitting and all i think id the memories we had and how i missed u and my chance.maybe i js thoguht that bc u done me rlly dirty saying ily then a few weeks later dating a girl.as i am writing this idk how that made me want you more instead of being extremely angry bc what u did was messed up and i still need to understand if u were dating her while talking to me or u js decided that bc i said no ur gonna block me and get a gir.who knows maybe she made u bloack me bc the why u were actnbg rlly confused me.i only realised that day on the trip that u blocked me when i searched up ur name and i coudlnt find u.i was so confused bbut i didnt ever think u blocked me.then u started lying and first u said it was an accident then u said it was to see f i would clock then other excuses but i knew it was bc u got a girl.that was why i was mad bc i was early that day w eliana and soon more ppl started coming but u came abit late.i heard ppl taking about u and i was so shocked when i hear them say u and a girl called leona were dating.eliana said she saw a vid u posted w that trend'i got gf i got gf'.i was in shock of what everyone was saying and everyne knew except me.i cant remeber if they said you broke up orwere still tg but that shi rlly hurt me. i was excited to see u and thats what i hear.before that beach trip i didnt tell anyone except for ma bsf mari bout you but when i heard all that ppl were saying and (i see u come finally and i thik someone asked u bout her and stuff),thats when i knew i couldnt js leave our shi private and i had to tell one of the girls or i was gna explode.rn ur face from that day is forming in my head lol.i started explainng it all to eliana nd emrina and i was getting pissed bc i coudlnt tell if u played me or leona.if u didnt then u still moved on rlly quick sooooo.i mean u c