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i wish that i could be as dedicated as others and start to find myself and acomplish my dreams and goals in life in which i cant seem to do such as being a content creator and showing people my true talent other than sitting in a fucking chair infront of a pc all day like a nerd.
life is so hard and i can never face the true difficult reality
and im so sceard to loose the people i like and love i want to live life how i want to not how others think i should because life would not be fun and im sceard to grow up and loose the people i love and have real responsabillytys and im sceard to think about having a difficult life which is why im trying to get a lead on the scary reality of life by starting up a youtube channel.
i want to have a happy life and enjoy it because there will be times were life can be difficult and i dont want those moments to pull me further down the shit hole of life.
i also dont want to live my life alone and its too hard to think about my life being bad and lonley
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