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I always add myself into conversations I'm not even in, I still don't get how ppl still like me. I ruined someone's whole friendship bc I said something, I always ruin everything for other ppl. It would be better if i could just stop talking, maybe I wouldn't ruin ppls life's. This world would be a better place if i never even existed, i mean everyone tells me to kms. So why don't i just do it? But its so hard to leave and every time I try my neck hurts and i untie the rope to live, its so hard to do su!c!de and escape. So the only thing close to that is sh, its one of my favorite things to do. And then when my mom found out she was all like "It hurts me more when you do that" Like I don't care, I hate when ppl care for me. I hate it so much, but at the same time i love it. Its so confusing, and then ik that I'm trans but I have so many ppl i want to be with in school and they would probably leave me if they found out. I wish i could just close my eyes and never wake up tmrw, i fucking hate my life and i bet everyone else does too. Idfc if I'm "overreacting" bc i don't give a fuck to care anymore, i hope you have a wonderful day. Thanks for listening.
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