Notes

I don't know what do to, and I need to vent. Okay, so I have been worry about something. Last night at Super Skate Colton told me that if I don't tell Hunter when I am upset and what is bothering me than we will start to drift apart and than I will lose him. I can't tell him, I know that once I do tell him he is going to leave. Josh left, because of my depression and me always worrying about stupid shit and me hurting myself. I think that Hunter is different, he probably understand. But I don't want to take the risk of me losing him, I will not be able to stand myself if I do lose him, I know that once I do, I will lose him forever. I guess I am just worrying about nothing, again. But I know that this is something that will probably happen, no, it will happen. And I know that once he sees my "sad" side, he will leave. I also know that he will find someone better, someone that is not like me, someone that will not worry about stupid stuff like this. And my therapist says that I need to leave him, she says that I seem to stress over everything that involves him. Like this, this is something that he would not have to deal with if he had someone that would not worry. And someone with a better body. And someone who he would not have to disagree with him so much, someone who would believe him when he says that they are beautiful/hot/cute. He would just be better off without me, but he does not want to believe me. I wish he would. Maybe than he would be happy, never have to deal with anything like me again. But I love him, and I don't want to lose him at the same time. I hate how confusing my life is. Sometimes I wish that it would all be over, I could just leave this world and not come back, ever. Well, I need to rap this up, I'm running out of space. Goodbye.