Notes

There are so many things that I haven't tell you. Do you want to know those things?

I was talking to Izzy earlier on FaceTime and after reminiscing about our trip to Antelope Island, we laughed so hard.

I shared to him my thoughts when I saw Rica and her style on one of his BeReal post the other day. I told him that her fashion sense is kind of outdated. I told him that it brought me back to our Antelope Island trip with Ceejay and James.

I remembered we were on our way back home; she asked one question to everyone. The question was, "Is it okay with you if your future spouse's fashion sense is not good?"

My answer to that was I'm good with that as long he has good hygiene. I don't really mind if he only wears polo shirt and pants most of the time.

Rica's answer was she doesn't also mind because she can just teach him with the current fashion trend.

Literally, Izzy and I laughed so hard. It is still funny just thinking about it. HAHAHHA


Then Izzy mentioned that he misses us laughing together. T.T AWW ME TOO!

I really miss him so much because when were together it's always a mix of laughter, intimate conversation, singing, composing and planning on what to do on our future trips (although we're broke lol).


I just realized that as a person gets older, laughing so hard diminishes. I think this is the reason why a person should marry one's best friend. Someone who he or she can laugh together on a daily basis. It is important for one's mental health.

If only Izzy is attracted to me and considers me as a person he could marry as much I consider him to be one, it's game over already. But since he only sees me as a friend, my only option is to look for someone else.


I pray he shows up immediately. And that when he shows up, I would be able to recognize him. I am exciting to do exciting things with him and do life with him. I am excited to make plans and make up after a fight. I am excited to be able to share to him my dramas and be silly at the same time. I look forward to making him his food and going to the gym together or hiking or running together.

It's so funny. While I am typing and thinking of my future husband, I feel like I am just describing Izzy and the times we were together.

Gosh. 2022 was really one of my best and happiest years of all time. It was the year that I was able to improve my communication skills that led me to have meaningful conversations with Izzy. It was the year that I got know more about my emotions and was able to manage them better because of I was helping toddlers to their emotions also. Kudos to my mentor, Shiva Melzer. Speaking of, I haven't talked to her in a long time.

Most of all, it was the year that I get to the safest in a person. Although Izzy and I never dated, he was always so respectful and sensitive to my feelings. He never fails to ask me how I am. He knows when I don't feel okay towards him, and he would make the effort to make me feel better. He knows when I feel jealous and so he was so sensitive that he didn't date anyone when we were hanging out.


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4:46 AM

I just finished talking to Carl and Jasmin, but Jas came to our conversation after 20 minutes. Before that she jumped in, Carl was asking personal questions. WEIRD but cute.

He asked me about my age, if I am looking for a partner and what do I like about a guy. There were more questions about my dating life and l just answered them as honest as possible.

From what I can understand, if a guy asks those questions to a girl, that guy is somehow interested to the girl. I am not assuming. I will ask Izzy, just to make sure. HAHAHAHA

 
He also offers to set me up a date. Which a typical move for a guy if he's interested to a girl.


Hold up! I am not sure yet. I am just saying that it is not typical for him to spend 45 minutes of his lunch just to talk to me about my dating life.

Okay, I have to think straight. Kanina, I was just writing that I am excited to meet the best friend that I am going to marry. Is this the answer to that? GOSH! Id this is, then I need to give him a chance.


Although, in all honesty, I got awkward, I need to stop over analyzing things. I need to just to go with the flow.

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Unrelated, Julio messaged me yesterday morning. WOW! Of course, my first thought was they were fighting. I was right. He told me what happened. I didn't give him any advice because he didn't ask for it. He told me he just wanted to share it to me because he doesn't have someone that he could share it with.

DEFENSES UP. Of course, I had to analyze his intentions. Then yeah, I realized he just wanted a friend that he can be okay sharing his problems with. It was fine with me but at the same time, it should just be that way.

And so, after few questions, I told him that I had to sleep already. He then told me to rest well.



After 5 whole months, I was surprised that he reached out to me first. I think for him he just did not have a choice but to contact me because he doesn't have other friends.