Notes

Today is Dec. 6th. 2023
So much to write about.
Sunday (12/03/23) Dave watched the kids.
1. I came home around 8:30pm and Elijah has been asleep since 5:30pm. I have addressed sleeping with him before. Please wake him up at 6:30pm or at least by 7pm so that way I know he will sleep through the night. He always says (because I have asked multiple times) something like "I'll let him sleep when he wants to. I'm not waking a baby." To which I think is disrespectful to my sleep schedule. Why do I feel this way??? Because he is all about getting his sleep and rest and yet won't respect mine by waking the baby from a late nap so they can go to bed semi-on time.
2. Elijah was in a diaper all day. He told me that multiple times after walking through the door. I guess to make a point? I don't know why. Do I typically coddle Dave and lay out clothes just in case they go somewhere? Yes. So maybe it is my fault for communicating that I didn't do it this time. However, he gets his clothes out of a dresser. If you can't find clothes for the baby, in DECEMBER, maybe you should make an effort to look. There were some in the dresser. Don't feel like going upstairs? Fine. Look through the baskets of laundry you hardly ever help with anymore. I was more mad and sad than feeling guilty about it, mostly because he's not a stupid man. So, why didn't he look through and of the clothing vessels??? I don't get it. I don't get it.
3. Izzy's underwear was on sideways again. And maybe I shouldn't assume that he put it on. However, a. he's not patient when she puts her clothes on, so I believe he does it. b. he also doesn't care about wearing mismatched socks or his socks inside out. Either way, I have also addressed this before. I have told him about a tag in the bag and I believe I showed it to him as well. I've told him the picture should face upward too.

I just feel like he does this kind of stuff on purpose. And if not on purpose, there is a REAL lack of effort.

Saturday (12/02/2023)
We were all at home. Izzy had pulled out a knife sharpener to "paint with". It has a suction cup on the bottom. Dave twists it on the counter and asks her to pull it off. Like, whatever, it's good problem solving practice. AND THEN when she can't get it off the counter he whispers in her ear "it's because you're a girl". I immediately turned around and said "Really?" and he then says "it's just a joke." He says that line so often I'm starting to not believe everything is a joke.
One of my fears is that he won't stop making "jokes". I have asked him to stop cursing. He has not. That "change" last all of 5 minutes. I have asked him to stop making "it's because she's a woman" comments. He has not, ever. And I am not confident he will stop making these comments either. The worst part, he says "if you really believed I thought these things were true I don't think you would be with me". And he's right. I'm starting to think he thinks these comments are valid and I don't want my daughter to grow up around these comments or have my son think they are ok to say.

I just need major help sorting through everything. I can't be unreasonable.