Notes

The shivers, the rapid heart rate, the games, the confusion, the ache, the need, the want, the desire, the fun. How strange attraction really. A constant power struggle between you and your body. Wanting to stay sane but loving and being confused by everything else. The need that you feel the uncontrollable, sub-conscious action. The things you can't control no matter how hard you try. The need you feel in you to follow someone else. It is an obsession that at first you don't realize, but keeps growing and growing and growing until you are powerless. Completely and utterly powerless. You are happily trapped and can do nothing about it. It is scary and at time really really confusing. You want to give u because the influ of emoton is too much to handle. It is overwhelming. You are turned on the most random of times, you constantly think about the other person. When around them, you can't controll anything. Your heart rate speeds up and you breathing becomes harsh. You try to speak, but other things are more important, and you are REALLY distracted. By them, by everything they do and sat. You are perplexed. And tired. Tired of waiting anf tired of wanting. Yiu need this like a drug, a drug you can;t control. The power you feel is imense, and undeniable. WHat to do is the real question? A big question indeed. An unansweable one. THe tention is killing you and theere is nothing you can do. It is a matter of life or death, and you begin to lose sleep. Being tired and around this pweson is a bad idea bause you are so easily distracted, close to sayi g the wrong thing at the wrong tme. I mean if that is even possible to cintrool beausr your mind is blank. Nothing, a wasteland. A wasteland of doubt and sufferng, but also pleasure. Such confution is running through your head, how do you controll this how can you be the one in controll? You know it is not possible, but ou try anyways. Try and try and try and fail. Misserablly. Just fail. But it is not such a bad thing. The nflux of hormone at times can be overwhelming, but worth it at others. The amout that you care can scare you,make you want to hde because you know that you can be hurt. This person can hurt you more than almost anyone else. Hurt you mentally. Break your already fragille mind. In fact, it can be shattered. Like glass. Poof and you will become sharp shards that are just thrown away. However, they can also make you better. Help you through the struggles of lige. THrough anything really. It is quite a bautiful thing to like someone. YOu do not always realize that you like someone until it hits you like a brick wall and knoks you out cold. It may take a awhile to admit it to yourself, but it is worth it. At first it is an experament. A game to see how this could work, if you even like the person of if you only agreeed to liking them because they said that they like you o becuse you really like them. It is a mystery until one day when you can no longer see yourslf without them. Until you are so far from what you though that you are confused and happy?