Notes

SO we broke up. We broke up because he thought i was flirting with other guys. When i asked him to tell me what i was doing to make him feel like i was flirting with then and he said it was a gut feeling and that someone told him that i was flirting with my good friend zion. This would never happen tho because he is dating my best friend. I have reason to believe that my best friend told my now ex that i was flirting with other guys. I think this because when i was telling her that me and my boyfriend/ex broke up she was hinting to me that she was apart of it. You know that look poeple give off when they know something but wont tell you it. That was the look on her face. Zion is also her boyfriend. She was also telling poeple that she was sick of me hanging out with her bf but the thing is that we were bestfriends before they were even dating and when we talk its about school the drama going on at school or the work in our class we share tg . I see zion like a brother nothing more nothing less. He said it was gut feeling i just wish we talked it out instead of breaking up i miss him but wont let anyone know because im more of the person that keeps to themselves about their feelings instead of just letting it all out. I like listening to others feeling and not letting anyone know about mine. Its just hard to comunicate them out because i just dont know what to say. Im happy on the outside but on the inside im a really sad fuck. My ex meant so much to me and i truly dont know what im gnna do with my life now that he is gone. He was so good to me i planned a whole future with him and he toatally just dumped me. Im going to try to carry on with life but i dont think its going to be like that. Im going to be the same person because im going to project the happy person like i always do. I actually almost got caught acting like i was fine today. They said they could see it in my eyes that i was not happy and that soemthing was wrong and there was i lost the love of my life and now im alone again. I dont know anymore i just dont think im ready to back to this bullshit on monday. I feel so empty but i honestly dont feel that sad just overwhelmed with emotions. Just qustioning ifhe ever felt anything for me.