Notes

Hey sis, good morning. Well, you're gonna be frustrated with me because yet again I haven't learned from my mistakes and yet again I am doing this to myself. The situation was the girl I met on Tuesday, I did meet her eventually late night Tuesday at Leyton station. We were meant to meet at Victoria around 6.30 but I waited a whole 4 hours there (I know, crazy! But I was very interested and keen on meeting her...) I sent her messages but she wasn't receiving them. Finally, I wrote her another message at around 9 before I would have given up and gone home. She received and told me she already went home because she had sent me a numerous of messages but I didn't receive them so Whatsapp must've had some issues. Anyway, she had texted me saying that she didn't think it was a good idea to meet but I insisted to her that I had been waiting for such a long time and she agreed to meet me at Leyton station (this was now nearly 10pm!) I got there and about 5 minutes she came...
We just looked at each other, we hugged for about 5 minutes and we kissed. She told me that I could stay at her house for the night and so I did. We talked, hugged, kissed and fell asleep together. She told me that I was so beautiful and that she really likes me. It was morning and I went with her half way to her uni because she had classes and we said that we would meet today, we were meant to be meeting again on Thursday. She texted me last night and told me that she thinks it is not a good idea for us to meet again because she will eventually end up hurting me. I didn't get it. And now you know what...I know I catch feelings for people easily, the slightest bit of attention they give to me or even seem interested in me, my feelings willgo crazy and I will start to like them because of the pure fact I feel alone. Yes, I do feel alone. That's why I always wanna be in someone's company, always want to kiss and cuddle. I don't want to keep doing this to myself because I am the only one who gets hurt in the end but again I don't know how to stop. I don't know...
I just wish you were here. At least you haven't left me because I know that is something I would never be able to get through or deal with. I have still got you and I am very grateful.

I just needed to let this off my chest. Thanks for listening.