Notes

I have never, felt true love before. Family was hurt and broken, messed up and crazed. My heart has been broken.. Stabbed, played and more. I speak softly, yet no one caring. It doesn't matter, I don't matter. People said they've been through this before. Well they haven't been where I'm at. If they gone through what I have. They'd know how much it hurts. Dark secrets I held to myself. Trying to forget the pain, and the moment itself. Who would love this demon behind this smile, who would save this angel from darkness and sorrow. Who can make me, a girl so depressed, smile, a true smile? Who can save me from hurting, who can see through my lies? Who can tell if I'm hurting inside? I tried so hard but the world so hard to please. I did so much but never succeed! I say so much but they hear so little, not loud spoken but screaming within. Scared to talk, and scared to win. Feel so alone, but pushing things away. Who could save me? From hurting more? Who can stop my sadness, my madness.. But I know no one can! Dreams are dead! Truth are lies, honesty and loyalty are all put to the test? Who can put up with me, a girl who wants to succeed.. Who rejects questions like, "are you okay?" Or "are you sad." Just to see others happy? Yes it may be my fault, you can tell me how to live my life or just tell me how to end this nightmare. How do I love with out getting hurt? How can I smile without being sad? How to speak up and tell them how I feel inside. But I know no one can.. Cause no one will ever try.. They say I'm lost, and not coming back, I would expect that from people who haven't feel the pain I went through.. I expect that from people who are Cold, I expect that from people who think they are better than everyone else.. I'm not trying to get attention, nor do I want any.. I just need one or two maybe three or four to come and help me.. Build me up again.. If there is any...