Notes

I don't know why I am writing this but I suppose it's a reminder not only of how much I love you but how amazing you are! This may cringe you out but tbh I don't care because it's all my feelings and I feel that I should tell you them! I love you, like literal love! We've been through ALOT! And it's kicked my arse into gear and made me realise how special you are! Alf I miss you when we're apart, we could be together all day and the second you or I leave, I become sad because I'm not with you! Now don't get me wrong you annoy me...and make me angry...and sometimes sad, but I do the same to you, I'm sorry for that! I babble on about so much crap and I know half the time you don't care but just by you listening makes me know you really care!!!

Now I can tell you that one of the best feelings ever is knowing that your presence and absence means something to someone and I want you to know that they both mean something to me! But I'm truly scared Alf, I love you way too much and sometimes I'm scared you don't feel the same! That's just one of my insecurities! But I will tell you, I chase people, you could walk away from me a thousand times and I'd chase you, but only to a certain extent.

I'm a physco bitch half the time and worry way too much, but deep down I know there's nothing to worry about! I trust you, I just don't trust others, but I want our relationship to be honest and it is, but promise we will tell each other everything! You make everyday a happy day, I love your smile, and your little bear face and I think I fall in love every time you laugh, it's so adorable! Alf I find it hard to stay angry at you and even when I am I still love you more than ever! I miss you right now and wish we were together😔

I remember how I felt when I first started talking to you...I liked you the minute we spoke, and I manned up and came over to you at the buses;) that was the scariest thing I've done but it took 20 seconds of insane courage to helped me do that, and I'm so glad that I did because look at us now. I am so happy I've got you.

I want you to tell me everything, in detail, I want to know how you see me, how do I come across, tell me how you feel every time you talk to me. And what your favourite and least favourite thing about me is, because i love it when you say all these things.

Finally I can see a future with you, I struggled at first but things are now settled, we argue or have 'heated disputes' in your words but I believe they only make us stronger. There's so much I want to do with you, big things and small but all important to me!!

By the way I absolutely love your family and I hope they like me, your mum is one of the nicest people I've ever met and bonus because she's gorgeous, she makes me feel really at home and well Ollie's Ollie, right? He's also lovely!! And I am so excited to meet your dad, I really hope he likes me, we're going to have an amazing time in Scotland, even if we sit in doing nothing! Just spending the week with you will be great!

I feel like you're so much more than my boyfriend, you're my best friend too! Like the one I rely on 24/7 and the one I trust with everything! I know I sometimes don't show it but I seriously love you more than anything and I couldn't ask for anyone else and wouldn't want to! You're everything!!

When I push you away I really don't mean to, and I get grumpy easily but I don't mean to! But like right now as I'm writing this, i am in a cute mood! I sat here waiting for you to get in from being out with the boys and I wrote this because I felt the need to tell you everything!

I love every minute of being with you but my favourite days are when we sit and do nothing because even though we are doing nothing it means absolutely everything! I love sitting watching films (I know you hate it but I love it) and beating you at Fifa, (don't say you let me win because we all know that's blatant lies).

But Alf I genuinely love you and I need you to know that if you feel slightly different then please tell me and don't hurt me because it will kill me! You make me so emotional sometimes even when I'm happy, I have never loved anyone like I love you, in fact I've realised I've never loved anyone before you!

You have a self sting. You put yourself down, I know the feeling because I get like that but you have helped me so much, you've boosted my confidence and I really hope I can help you with yours! You're really special, so don't ever let anyone tell you any different. There will be people who put you down but I'll always try pick you you back up, I know you will do the same for me.

I feel like there is still so much I want to say but this might drag on too long! It's already dragged! So to sum this up, I love you so much Alfie! 💗💗xx