Notes

Upon Buttocks
rolex fake

Today I fell on my butt
That hasn’t happened in a while,
but my body still remembers how to do it,
I did a slide/roll, so I cushioned most of the blow
and didn’t try to break the fall with my wrists,
which is good because I need those.
I wonder how much my form is
muscle memory from learning to walk
and how much is from later falls,
falls from greater heights.
-
This one was not so very great
It almost happened in slow motion:
I was squatting down to sit on a new rolling chair,
wearing new jeans,
on a polished wooden floor,
and I got the angle wrong.
I came down too quickly.
The jeans slid forward.
The chair went careening back.
And, almost as an echo,
an afterthought,
the wheels of the chair snickered,
cradling the wood panels
all the way across the empty studio
until they hit the opposite wall
and ceased.
-
As I felt my body give in to gravity
(I was too sore from yesterday’s squats to stop it)
I saw the apartment in a completely new way.
I didn’t stay down for long,
but in that insistent moment
of
falling
I felt a naïve surprise
Not that I fell
But that I remembered falling
so well.
Almost as though my body
had a specific mode for falling,
like an automatic message
about airplane safety
I’d heard a hundred times before...
-
And in that mode I fell.
And in that mode I saw my adult life,
not flashing before my eyes,
but holding its breath,
all messy
and crumpled up
and confused
and spinning across the room
and leaning at improper angles
and falling with me out of sisterly solidarity…
And in that mode I felt
almost completely new

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