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uhren damen
Everyone who’s anyone goes to Coachella. And everyone who’s anyone at Coachella wears a flower crown. Unfortunately, some flower crowns are missing out this year. So sad!
My first name is Mary Katherine Bean Paris, and I am sad to say that I am a flower crown who will not be attending Coachella this year. 2. Ahhh, those were the days. But no, I am not going to Coachella this year. I went last year but was confiscated because there was a bag of MdMa hidden under one of my petals. I now live in a plastic bag inside an evidence locker, never to see the light of day.
3. I can’t go to Coachella, because my master is upset that Taylor Swift didn’t dump headliner Calvin Harris after he allegedly got a happy ending at a massage parlor in 2015.
4. I couldn’t make it to Coachella because I live at the Forever 21 stock site. Nobody is brave enough to order me, because I’m fake and was made by a child.
5. Oh, yeah. I can’t go to Coachella because LCD Soundsytem is too mainstream for me.
6. Why can’t I go to Coachella? Because I don’t want to. If my owner drags me there on that greasy head of hers, I will come to life before her eyes and choke her to death. I would rather not do this, because I heard that flower crown prison is the worst.
7. I can’t make it because a few years ago my master pretended to like a band that doesn’t exist in that Jimmy Kimmel Lie Witness News bit that went viral. Don’t look at me like that. It’s not like I said it, and it’s not like I have any legs of my own, a brain of my own, a bank account of my own to buy tickets, or a driver’s license of my own to get there.
8. I was supposed to go to Coachella. I was so excited to see Ellie Goulding! Unfortunately I was donated to a flower girl at a wedding at the very last minute. I was half-eaten and pretty much destroyed by the five year-old whose head I sat on top of for an hour and a half. And you know what they say . . . You can go to Coachella with holes in your shirt, pants, and brain, but not in your flower crown.
9. I’d love to go to Coachella again, but Vanessa Hudgens doesn’t re-wear flower crowns. Or anything, actually. That’s why we are having this conversation in a trash can, because that’s where I live now.
Read More: https://www.xuhren.net
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