Notes

White Nationalist Trumpoetry & the Rise of the Überdorks
https://www.replica-uhr.com

I didn’t watch 45’s address to the joint session of Congress last night. I believe I had a pore to unclog on my left buttock. That is to say that I was busy with something else that was way more important than watching a human colostomy bag read off a teleprompter for what probably seemed like an eternity to most people.
This morning, though, I saw this nine-hour-old tweet from the @POTUS Twitter account, tweeted by a staffer and quoting from the address:
As soon as I read it, it reminded me of the super dumb white nationalist poetry that the bigots on Stormfront-dot-org like to write and share with their fellow Confederate battle flag humpers and swastika fellators.
Here’s an example, “A Deconstruction of the 14 Words”:
The 14 words, of course, refers to the neat & tidy mission statement used to unite all kinds of moronic palefaces against what they perceive as white genocide. I don’t think there’s a white genocide going on but if there is one, it’s the s l o w e s t genocide ever. To be fair, that’s just the opinion of someone that these white nationalists would consider a mudperson. (I’d like to note that I prefer to be called a person of mud.)
All of that said, as handily succinct as the 14 Words are, they still come off weird and stilted like an elevator pitch by someone with the title of Grand Chancellor of the Galactic Man-Boy Love Association. So, it’s probably a good thing that some taco-hating chump unpacked the 14 words.
The poetry on Stormfront is mostly made up of paeans to women that are described as, essentially, Aryan Barbies who are fierce warriors but somehow also destined to be obedient and everloving wives to these sadsacks. There is also a fair amount of pieces by shlubs casting themselves as dragon-slaying Vikings stomping through a post-apocalyptic wasteland and impregnating Mother Gaia or some nonsense.
Luckily, there is some respite from the ramblings simultaneously steeped in both self-aggrandizement and a “Boohoo, the darkies are taking over and the Jews run everything!” pity party:
WHITE NATIONALIST EMO POETRY!
Awwww … this racist bag of shit is wondering why no one loves him. Poor wittle guy!
Love must be very important because it’s both in bold and underlined, just like the title of this poem.
Good to know that what drives this dude is knowing that one day he will join all his past life loves — presumably klanswomen and Nazi Fräuleins — in a big ol’ cosmic orgy. SPLOOSH.
I didn’t even read any of this guy’s bullshit-ass verses because the intro mentions that this goosestepper’s white nationalist girlfriend broke up with him and then SLEPT WITH A SHERPA.
I guess when white fathers hoist unrealistic expectations upon their white sons, their progeny do a deep dive into either racism or racecars.

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