Notes

How I feel:(

Lately i have been really struggling to keep going. there is so many things i could say but ill just say whats on my mind. first topic i will be talking about is Tr.Volk. Tr.Volk is my favorite teacher at my school. she keeps me going and running. and shes leaving.. and i dont think i can go without here being there. she was so uniqe and out going to do her job well. and she defiantly did. she is my most favorite person to talk to and lisen to. but shes leaving. and next year she wont be here. and i starting middle school and i dont know how im going to keep going. i have had soo many art teachers but she was my favorite. i love and ABSALUTLY HATE TO SEE HER GO. it's horrible that my school distract doesnt think about other people. their ruining my life even more then it already is. if she leaves i cant Funchion right. i dont understand! WHY HER!!!!!! why her....:(
my 2nd topic is me. im lately been really trying my hardest to keep going. my sister is always like '' you dont have anxiety'' or ''you anent depressed''. BUT I AM. she made me promise her to be her ''safe person''. but really i cant tell anyone i feel like it just doesnt matter. which it doesnt. and i know because i have been like this for almost a year now. and every night after everybody is asleep. i cry. i lisen to sad music and cry. why you may ask because it is how i show my emotions. it is really hard to keep going. my 3rd topic is my anxity. my sister says you dont have anxiety but i know i do. whenever i get anxiety i pinch myself really hard. and im always over thinking. zoning out. it is hard. my fourth topic is school. at school i cant be myself. i cant be my depressed ugly lazy girl. so i really try to look pretty. but then someone has to ruin it. i have to look like im 100% happy. im 10000000% sure im not. the inside of my is always crying. and so i always make sure everybody else is super happy. but dont save enough happiness for me to be happy.