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i have to change my life, no one is going to come and change it on my behalf . i am so confused and stuck , some how i know how to break this loop but i am not strong enough . All i need is good health and good grades and i am failing at both at things at the time. so it hurts more and when you know that your mind is no more in your control , your mind just love overthinking being delusional . i am just hating my current self way to much , a unhealthy person always had headache , low energy level, just over stress about everything , depend on other a lot and not mentally stronger neither physically . i have everything , its not like i don't have any facilities its just that i am such a low esteem and weirdo who is not able to do anything in her entire 19 year life . yes i know i still have time to change everything but it need hard work , consistency, and thinking less what others think of me. Neither i am dating someone in my entire 19 year no one have fallen for me and neither do i fall for some true love because i haven't find someone of my height and i don't even have guts to approach someone and neither do my family will allow me a love marriage . and even if they will allow a love marriage , my hopes are less that i will get a man who will fall for me and you know in my delusional world i am happy , real world sucks, but i strongly believe god have best plan he will give me the best man at the right time . but before that i need to be independent , i am so bad at studies ,how will i manage things in my life , worst in math's, bad at Hindi and English , and poor at learning things , basically a below average in studies . how will i be able to crack a good exam and getting a good job and settle well, it scared me to hell but still i decided to scroll Instagram , chat with friends and wasting my time rather then improving my self . i just waste my time on peoples thinking about them gossiping about them .
I have to change it at any cost , i need to be consistent but i failed in it , these cheap dopamine is wasting my life and time .
i need to stick to good diet for good health and good stuff for success , i need to restart my mind again.no Instagram no chatting , only feeding good stuff to mind and good sleep and meditation . and studying daily little little and increasing one hours ,
IF ONLY I CAN FOLLOW THESE LITTLE THINGS MY LIFE WOULD BE SO DIFFERENT
GOD HELP ME AND PLEASE CHANGE IT .
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