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it's something under the pillow, isn't it?
i lift up the pillow, shocked but not completely surprised by what's under it. a shitty 1st aid kit, a plastic knife, a broken sharpener blade, and a pill cutter blade.
Oh. i though he always wore sweaters during summer because he gets cold easily.
(that's what he told me)
i hear footsteps and assume its him. i quickly put the pillow back in its place before turning back to my laptop.
i see a shadow and look up. oh, it's just his mom.
she tilts her head. "have you seen x lately?" she asks. "yeah." i lie. "he said he was going out to smoke." "Oh." she sounds crestfallen. "alright." she walks away, presumably to go outside.
in reality, i haven't seen him all day. the last time we "talked", it wan an over-the-phone argument about his self-destructive behaviors.
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