Notes

I really want to go home. though i need to get a bunch of work done. some at school and some at the trailer. then i have to go work for my neighbor. i wish that my weekend was still going... i wish that the school year would end sooner. now you are listening to me say all this and your first thought is ooo it's just another teenager, right? wrong. i scored number on my personality quiz love for learning. i cant wait to progress in my academic though i cant seem do that here. i feel as if my ankles are tied behind me while i watch my close friends achieving incredible feats. I'm being dragged down... i was homeschooled for most of my life and it was one of the most amazing things that ever happened to me. then we hit a some ruff patches.. we lost our house and i lived on the street for a bit but then we moved here and i picked my feat up! i thought this would be my upcoming. my first year in high school I'm ahead multiple grades and hate all my classes because of how slow they are. i am learning a little bit. but i spend weeks learning the same thing. i am in a public school that is rated 42 worst school district in the state. my girlfriend goes to Bishop Kelly a very successful privet school! i cant imagine what i wouldn't do to go there.. but its not an option. i don't have money for a privet school. they are a head in there academics by so much. i here about there assignments and there classes there teachers and their students. i am friends a few of them. they are all amazing. i mean of course they have there struggle. everyone does. but o my god. they are amazing. comparing the normal activity's there to here i cant believe its even possible. it feels like a dream where she is. and I'm so glad that it is her and not me. though why cant it be both of us. i feel so jealous so much of the time.. and i feel so bad that i cant only be happy for her. i tell myself its just not an option for me. but that is a lie. anything is possible. SO WHAT THE FUCK WILL I DO!! i made a commitment for this year at high school. and i did very well. I'm proud.. but i know i can do more. Hannah did more. i should have done speech and debate. but i didn't. i found a sport that i love. i found a way to better execute my passion for music. and earned a spot on the varsity football team. i am very popular which makes some things easier. though i hate it. i will do more. i must first decide what i will do more in. and then i will do everything to reach my goal and create more along the path. i wont stop fighting and wont stop believing. i will go back to homeschool and be as involved in my passions as possible.