Notes

From http://www.vidqt.com/id/Yx429L4pnNs?lang=en

LAST SUMMER, WE DID OUR FIRST BIG FAMILY VACATION.

WELL, I SHOULD CLARIFY. WE WENT TO DISNEY.

NOW IF YOU HAVEN'T BEEN TO DISNEY AS AN ADULT,
JUST IMAGINE YOU'RE STANDING IN LINE AT THE DMV...

AND THAT'S IT.

ACTUALLY, IT WAS ORLANDO IN JULY,
SO IT WAS KIND OF LIKE STANDING IN LINE
ON THE SURFACE OF THE SUN.

"WHY WOULD WE DO THIS TO OURSELVES?"
REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE A KID AND YOU'D GO ON VACATION,
YOU'D BE LIKE, "WHY IS DAD ALWAYS IN A BAD MOOD?"
NOW I UNDERSTAND.

"HOW CAN SPEND AN ENORMOUS AMOUNT OF MONEY,
"BE UNCOMFORTABLE, AND LISTEN TO MY CHILDREN
"COMPLAIN AND WHINE?
"DISNEY!
OH, GOOD."
I DID FIGURE OUT WHAT MAKES DISNEY TRULY MAGICAL, THOUGH.

YOU CAN WALK AROUND, SWEATING YOUR ASS OFF, FOR 12 HOURS
AND STILL GAIN WEIGHT.

"I KNOW IT'S 110 OUT HERE, BUT THESE FRIES TASTE GREAT."
WE EAT, YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE WE WANNA HAVE A GOOD TIME.

REALLY, THAT'S ALL A VACATION IS--
JUST US EATING IN A PLACE WE'VE NEVER BEEN.

"WELL, WHY DON'T WE EAT SOMETHING?
"THEN WE'LL GO AND GET SOMETHING TO EAT.

"THEN WE'LL SEE THAT THING WE'RE SUPPOSED TO SEE.

"THEY PROBABLY GOT A SNACK BAR THERE, RIGHT?
"AFTER THAT, WE SHOULD PROBABLY GET SOMETHING TO EAT, THOUGH.

THEN WE'LL EAT SOMETHING."
YOU EAT 'CAUSE, YOU KNOW,
THERE'S PRESSURE TO HAVE FUN ON YOUR VACATION, RIGHT?
BUT AT DISNEY, IT'S LIKE A DESPERATION.

YOU SEE IT ON THE FACES OF PARENTS.

THEY'RE LIKE, "HAHHH.

"THIS WAS AN ENORMOUS MISTAKE.

"I HOPE YOU'RE HAVING FUN.

IT WAS EITHER THIS OR SEND YOU TO COLLEGE."
I STOOD IN LINE FOR AN HOUR AND 15 MINUTES
FOR THE DUMBO RIDE.

AFTER A MINUTE, I WAS LIKE...

"I'M THE DUMBO.

I'M WAITING TO SEE MYSELF."
AT THE END OF THE LINE,
THERE'S JUST GONNA BE A MIRROR AND SOME GUY GOING, "DUMBO!"
SOME OF THOSE RIDES AT DISNEY,
THEY MAKE YOU REALIZE HOW FAR WE'VE COME WITH AMUSEMENT PARKS.

LIKE I WAS ON THAT RIDE IT'S A SMALL WORLD.

I WAS LIKE, "WOW, THERE WAS A TIME
WHEN PEOPLE FOUND THIS ENTERTAINING?"
YOU COULD BE ON ACID,
YOU'RE LIKE, "I'M NOT GETTING ANYTHING HERE.

"I THINK I'LL GO BACK TO STARING AT MY HAND.

"YEAH, THAT'S BETTER.

IF ONLY I HAD TWO OF THESE."
'CAUSE A LOT OF THOSE RIDES AT DISNEY,
THEY WERE DEVELOPED IN THE '70s.

THERE WAS NO COMPETITION. THEY WERE MAKING UP RIDES.

IT WAS JUST SOME GUY GOING, "ALL RIGHT, HOW ABOUT, UH...

"A BUMPER CAR GOES INTO A DARK ROOM
"AND THERE'S A PICTURE OF WINNIE THE POOH?
"PEOPLE WILL STAND IN LINE FOR AN HOUR FOR THAT, RIGHT?
"OOH, HERE, I GOT ANOTHER ONE.

"WHAT IF WE HOLLOW OUT A LOG AND THROW 'EM OVER A WATERFALL?
WE GOT THEIR MONEY. WHAT ARE THEY GONNA DO?"
I HAVE TO ADMIT, MY FAVORITE RIDE WAS THE AIR-CONDITIONED BUS
BACK TO THE AIRPORT.

OOH, WELL WORTH THE WAIT.

"HEY, IF YOU DON'T LIKE DISNEY, WELL, THEN WHY WOULD YOU GO?"
I WENT BECAUSE I LOVE MY CHILDREN, YOU KNOW?
NOW THERE ARE ADULTS WITHOUT CHILDREN THAT GO TO DISNEY,
AND THEY'RE CALLED WEIRDOS.

VERY NICE PEOPLE, ABSOLUTELY CRAZY.

EVEN AT COMIC-CON, PEOPLE ARE LIKE,
"YEAH, THEY'RE A LITTLE FRIGHTENING.

"I MEAN, I GOT A BATMAN LIVING ROOM,
BUT THESE PEOPLE ARE SCARY."
"BUT YOU'RE A NERD TOO, JIM."
I TOOK SO MANY PICTURES AT DISNEY.