Notes

*updated*

(grand orchestral fanfare playing)

(laughs)

(engine revving)

(Mario Kart countdown plays)

(giggling)

(groans)

(mutters angrily)

Illumination!

(Richard Williams Animation Studio logo)

♪ Oh, ahh

♪ Dadah, a-dah, dahh, ♪ da-dah, didi

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It is written among the limitless constellations of the celestial heavens

and in the depths of the emerald seas

and upon every grain of sand in the vast deserts

that the world which we see

is an outward and visible dream

of an inward and invisible reality.

♪ ♪

Once upon a time

there was a golden city

In the center of the golden city

atop the tallest minaret

were three golden balls.

The ancients had prophesied that if the three golden balls

were ever taken away

harmony would yield to discord

and the city would fall to destruction

and death.

♪ ♪

But the mystics had also foretold

that the city might be saved by the simplest soul

with the smallest and simplest of things.

In the city there dwelt a lowly shoemaker …

… who was known as Tack the Cobbler.

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Also in the city …

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existed …

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a Thief …

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Who shall be nameless.

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(gurning)

(twut x7)

(gurning)

(extreme twut earappe)

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(gurning)

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♫ Have no fear! ♫ ♫ Have no fear! ♫

♫ Zigzag the Grand Vizier is near! ♫

♫ Have no fear! ♫ ♫ Have no fear! ♫

♫ Zigzag the Grand Vizier is near! ♫

♫ Have no fear! ♫ ♫ Have no fear! ♫

♫ Zigzag the Grand Vizier is near! ♫

♫ Have no fear! ♫ ♫ Have no fear! ♫

♫ Zigzag the Grand Vizier is near! ♫

♫ Have no fear! ♫ ♫ Have no fear! ♫

♫ Zigzag the Grand Vizier is near! ♫

♫ Have no fear! ♫ ♫ Have no fear! ♫

♫ Zigzag the Grand Vizier is near! ♫

♫ Have no fear! ♫ ♫ Have no fear! ♫

♫ Zigzag the Grand Vizier is near! ♫

♫ Have no fear! ♫ ♫ Have no fear! ♫

♫ Zigzag the Grand Vizier is near! ♫

♫ Have no fear! ♫ ♫ Have no fear! ♫

♫ Zigzag the Grand Vizier is near! ♫

♫ Have no fear! ♫ ♫ Have no fear! ♫

♫ Zigzag the Grand Vizier is near! ♫

AII! OOOWWWWWW!!!

Seize him! Take him!

Seize him! Take him?

-Take him and seize him!
-ZIGZAG: Take him into the palace!

(gates rumbling)

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(gates rumbling)

Wake. Wake Father,... something's happening.

-Er... er... oh!
-Oh Great King Nod! Have no fear! Zigzag your Grand Vizier is here!

Oh... it's you... Zigzag...

And now oh Greatest of the Great! To rest you from affairs of State

I've searched the world and brought you thence at no little effort and great expense

a plaything from far south of Gaza. A bountiful Maiden from

Mombasa!

Oh-oh-oh Oh. Mombasa!

Oh father.

-Mombasa.
-(laughing)

♪ ♪

Who is this?

Oh Greatest King of all the Earth! This low-born cobbler of no worth

attacked me in the square today! Shall we take his head away?

What? Oh... uh... yes Zigzag... if you really think so...

But what has he done?

-Attacked me.
-Really?

Yes.

-Oooh Ow! Oooh Ow!
-Silence!

-What!? What!? What!? What!?
-(laughing)

Huh? What? Hmm? Uh

At the moment Daddy, I need a cobbler.

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Uh y-yes, of course.

(laughing excitedly)

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Of course... Oh Rose of the Land. Your slightest whim is my command.

Er... Cobbler... go... with Princess Yum-Yum...

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Open for the Royal Polo Ponies!

♫ Open for the Royal Polo Ponies! ♫

♫ Open for the Royal Polo Ponies! ♫

♫ Open for the Royal Polo Ponies! ♫

♫ Open for the Royal Polo Ponies! ♫

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The nice young man is fixing your slippers, my dear?

Yes, Nanny.

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Cobbler, what's your name?

-Tack? Is that your name?
-Tack?

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-(toilet flushed)
-What? Huh?

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Your bath is ready, my dear.

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Maybe the pipes are backed up.

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(glass crushed)

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Aha! You've finished Yum-Yum's shoe! You've done it very well!

And now she has no need of you we'll put you in a cell!

(laughs)

-(door closed)
-(key door locked)

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♫ I close my eyes and see his eyes ♫

♫ So soft and warm and clear ♫

♫ I dream awake of holding her ♫

♫ I dream that she’s right here ♫

♫ I sense in all his silences ♫

♫ More than his words could say ♫

♫ Don’t fight your feelings says my heart A heart I will obey ♫

♫ Am I feeling love ♫

♫ Am I feeling love ♫

-♫ Can it really be ♫
-♫ Happening to me ♫

♫ Am I feeling love ♫

♫ For sure a most unlikely match ♫

♫ Implausible and strange ♫

♫ But one it seems my heart and I Refuse to rearrange ♫

♫ Am I feeling love ♫

♫ Am I feeling love ♫

-♫ Can it really be ♫
-♫ Happening to me ♫

♫ Am I feeling love ♫

(Tack sighs)

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(bear gurring)

-A thief?
-A thief? A thief!? Stop! Thief!

Oh Imperial Majesty!

Yes... yes... Zigzag.

uh- From farthest Cathay at my bidding was sent
the best polo ponies from the Orient.

-Very nice
-To please King Nod beloved by all commence the game!

In short - In short - PLAY BALL!
(crowd cheering)

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(yelps, groans)

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-I REGRET EVERYTHING!!
-(yelps, groans)

-Father, Father...
-Uh... Wha-what?

Do you know where my Cobbler has gone to?

What? No Um? It Fixing your shoe?

ZIGZAG: oh King!
KING NOD: Yes. Mmm oh yes.

-Ewww.
-Haha!

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-Oh Wisest of Rulers!
-(yelps, groans)

Happy is the Kingdom in this milk and honeyed land!

Happy are the subjects who live beneath your hand!

We rejoice at all around us as the beauteous evening falls,

safe beneath the sure protection of the Ancient Golden Balls!

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MIGHTY ONE-EYE: One-Eyes! CROWD: One-Eyes!
MIGHTY ONE-EYE: One-Eyes! CROWD: …Eyes!

One-Eyes win again!

CROWD: One-Eyes! One-Eyes!

I shall gnaw the Golden City to the bone!

-(meat bites)
-And I shall spit! It! Out!

MIGHTY ONE-EYE: No one is left alive to warn them!

CROWD: One-Eyes!

MIGHTY ONE-EYE: One-Eyes!

CROWD: One-Eyes!

MIGHTY ONE-EYE: One-Eyes!

Oh god.

MIGHTY ONE-EYE: The day of death has come to the Golden Land!

And I shall conquer the Golden City!

Steady now hold still.

MIGHTY ONE-EYE: I shall trample! And break them!

And… No man escapes! The Mighty One-Eye!

♪ ♪

ZIGZAG: Sleep... Sleep... Sleep... Sleep!

They sleep...they sleep... ...they're all asleep!

But I am quite awake!

Eh, Phido?

I rise above the human heap!

The world is mine to take!

-(Phido screaming and sqakes)
-Eh, Phido?

Men are fools who walk in dreams
they sleep their lives away!

But I, Zigzag, will reign supreme!

For they are easy prey... Eh, Phido?
(Phido sqakes)

For I intend to take as wife the daughter of the King!

Hmph. Wha... wha...? Oh.

And with her as my Royal Bride I'll rule in public sight.

With Princess Yum-Yum at my side the crown

is mine by right! Eh, Phido?

(Phido scream)

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-(King Nod gasping)
-Zigzag! Zigzag

Get me Zigzag! NOW!!!

♫ Zigzag! Zigzag! Zigzag! Zigzag! ♫

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-Oh! Oh!
-Oh Great King Nod!

Have no fear! Zigzag your Grand Vizier is here!

Death and destruction, Zigzag!
My Kingdom will come to destruction and death!

Be calm Serene Highness.
You must catch your breath.

What dawn of disaster?
Why speak you of death?

I've had a dream. A nightmare!
No! A vision! A vision of invasion!

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Excellent Majesty Ruler Supreme!
I can safely assure you, a dream’s just a dream.

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-I saw it, I tell you!
-Calm down, Your Highness.

Invaders? One-eyed?

But this is against what has been prophesied.

For has it not been written, we are safe from any threat,
as long as those three Golden Balls are on the minaret?

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-(King Nod short scream)
-What if the Balls are taken away?

A way has never been found to take them away.

What freak of nature could ever get up to the top of that minaret?

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…atop the minaret.

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I... I just have this funny feeling.

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It's not time to get up. Too early to rise.
Too early to open the King's sleepy eyes.

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Wake! Wake father! Something’s happening!

Is this opportunity ringing?

I think there are some Balls you should be bringing...

Get those Balls! Keep out of sight!
Bring them to me late tonight!

-Yes, Milord!
-Thy will be done! Yes, Milord!

One...

One...

One... uh-Eye...

-One-Eye?
-...is coming.

-One-Eye?
--Eye

-One-Eye!
-(King Nod gasp)

-(storm)
-the balls- (screaming)

The Balls are gone!
My Kingdom will come to destruction and death!

KING NOD: My loyal generals! My brave soldiers!

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The Three Golden Balls have gone!

Our City faces invasion!

The Mighty One-Eye is coming!

Take up your positions... with my blessing!

(King Nod cough)

CROWD: Long live King Nod! Long live King Nod!

Long live the Golden City! Yeah!

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-Try the prison.
-What? Oh no!

-…alace!
-Ah! Clumsy!

Shut up! Shut up! Quiet!

-Close the door, you idiot!
-Don’t be…

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Gentlemen! Gentlemen! What a delight!

(Phido screaming and sqakes)

We’ll let this be our little secret. Alright?

(laughing excitedly)

I’ll rule the land, after one little thing.

(laughing)

Now that I have the Balls, I will go see the King.

(chuckles)

-(door opens)
-Have no fear! Zigzag, your Grand...

You're here, Zigzag! But where are the balls?

Magicked away, my lord.

Magicked away? Oh no!

Oh, you mustn't look so tragic.
I am not unschooled in magic.

-You mean...You?
-Alakazam!

Observe!

What, look at that.

Hmm, what that’s something.

You see, I can restore you the Golden Balls,
though they be lost.

I'll give you anything, Zigzag! Just do it!

As my peril will be dire...
you must grant my heart's desire!

-Which is...?
-I require, Sire, your daughter, Yum-Yum,

-to wed. mo the do.
-NEVER!

Get out! OUT!!!

-Oh, well I just thought I’d asked.
-♪ ♪

We'll see who wins at the end of the day!
We'll see who ends up grieving!

I'll go to the One-Eye right away.

-I'm taking my balls and leaving!
-♪ ♪

-Magicked.
-my daughter!

♫Oh! Beautiful Princess Yum-Yum! ♫

How can we help, Daddy?

You must get away, ht. Listen carefully,
the Golden Balls have been magicked away.

-M
-We may have one chance.

There is a mad and holy old Witch,
who dwells at the top of the desert mountain...

You must go and seek out this Witch!

Perhaps she can tell us how the City can buld
send him on this perilous journey.

-Father, I can handle it!
-At the foot of the desert mountain

is a golden idol with a priceless ruby set in its forehead.

When the desert sun is directly overhead,
the reflection of the ruby falls upon a hidden door

-Yes, Father.
-You must cross the great desert. Go now!

-(Yum Yum gasp)
-er, we need a guide!

-Yes, but who
-Him? The Cobbler?

Yes.
-♪ ♪

(Thief scream)

Oh, my darling, take care.

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-Times has changed-
-ndeed, and they have, Chieftain.

♪ Oh, ahh

-It was... it was different then.
-It was then.

-♪ Dadah, a-dah, dahh, ♪ da-dah, didi
-It was indeed. Oh no In a different time.

♪ La-dah, dah, dahh,

-Things is not what they used to be, you know.
-No.

-There's... a caravan coming! Here comes a caravan!
-There’s a caravan coming!

A caravan is coming! Here comes a caravan!

-I don’t...
-Ah, will you stop going on?

It is! It is!

Chieftain! It is a caravan!

-Caravan.
-Caravan?

-A CARAVAN!
-We’re rich!

Horses! Food! Drink! Women! Women!

(Laughing Brigand)

What ‘tis it that we do now?

-Aye, he’s right, what do we do?
-May I remind you, Gentlemen,

that when in doubt... ...consult...

-the Brigands’ Handbook.
-Ah!

Ah! The Book! Is it a daw Book!

Of went! of words! What does the book say?

“Caravan” Caravan!

Charge! Charge!

Shut up, you fool. Keep your ass down. Keep it down.

Halt!

Get them, lads!

Who are you?

Well I... I am Roofless, the Chieftain.

-And this is my band of Brigands.
-Aye, quite right.

♪ ♪

♫ Bom, bom, bom, beem, bom Boolee, boolee, bibilli, boo ♫

♫ We’re what happens when you don’t finish school ♫

♫ Bom, bom, bom, beem, bom Boolee, boolee, bibilli, boo ♫

♫ We’re what happens when you don’t finish school ♫

♫ Sent here twenty years ago By the king to guard his borders ♫

♫ We don’t know when to return ‘Cause no one here can read his orders ♫

♫ Bom, bom, bom, beem, bom Boolee, boolee, bibilli, boo ♫

♫ We’re what happens when you don’t finish school ♫

♫ Bom, bom, bom, beem, bomBoolee, boolee, bibilli, boo ♫

♫ We’re what happens when you don’t finish school ♫

♫ Lately things have been so bad There just are no worse to tell it ♫

♫ And if we should find a word I’m sure none of us can spell it ♫

♫ We miss our mothers and our fathers ♫
♫ It’s a painful sad condition ♫

♫ It’s hard to tell you just how much ♫
♫ ‘Cause we never learned addition ♫

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♫ Bom, bom, bom, beem, bom ♫

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♫ Bom, bom, bom, beem, bom ♫

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♫ Bom, bom, bom, beem, bom ♫

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♫ So we wait around and scare Any traveler passing through here ♫

♫ Since we never learned to trade It’s the only thing to do here ♫

♫ Bom, bom, bom, beem, bom Boolee, boolee, bibilli, boo ♫

♫ That’s what happens when you don’t finish school ♫

♫ Bom, bom, bom, beem, bom Boolee, boolee, bibilli, boo ♫

♫ We’re what happens when you don’t finish school ♫

♫ Bom, bom, bom, beem, bom Boolee, boolee, bibilli, boo ♫

I am the Princess Yum-Yum. Daughter of your King!

And that’s my Nurse you’re sitting on.

Your country is in great danger. I hereby declare you, my Royal Guard.

-Ooh.
-Royal Guard, Boys.

You will accompany us on our perilous journey to save our Golden Land!

♪ ♪

-The camp of the One-Eyes!
-How very nice!

Perhaps they'll be willing to pay!

I'll have these barbarians kissing my feet.

-And maybe we'll find you something to eat!
-Eh, Phido?

-♪ ♪
-Gentlemen! Gentlemen! What a delight!

To meet you all here on such a fine night!

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Throne!

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-Phido!
-Who dares enter the camp

-of the Mighty One-Eye?
-Oh, Mighty One-Eye,

I...I...I am Zigzag the Great! Of the Golden Land!

-And?
-I am a magician, a sorcerer too! And I'm in a position, I think, to serve you!

Sorcerer?

-(splash magic storm)
-I conjure demons!

Charm beasts! And birds of prey, too! Phido!

(Phido screaming and sqakes)

But as you will see, that's not all I can do!

I have power over people, though they may appear complex.

-♪ ♪
-For me they fall like playing cards and I control the decks!

(Zigzag chuckles)

But all this is nothing, for now in my hand is the very key to the Golden Land!

For no man can take it - no matter how great,

unless he possesses these three balls of fate!

You say you can charm beasts? (chuckles)

(chuckles)

Throw him to the alligators!

(Phido chuckles)

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My friends, it grieves me to see you fed on persons like me with no meat.

Just help me a little and I won’t forget to feed you e*ch day, a surprise.

That is plump, portly, paunchy, and fat. Fat! FAAAAAAAAT!!!

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-Magic! ‘Tis magic!
-Princess. Perhaps me

and my men ought to be staying here.

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Oh Mad and Holy Old Witch.

I am Princess Yum-Yum, of the Golden City.

ke us how we can save our City.

-We'll pay.
-Okay!

Have we one here who can save your city?

Eenie, meenie, miney, MO!!!

Tack? Can Tack save our City?

Hmm. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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-He’s got a big heart.

-Tack, how do you feel about it?
-Money in front.

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Ah! For you, I will make special price.

And take a special trip.

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Hmm. Match. Match!

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(expl*sive)

Attack. Attack. Tack!

-at you do with what you got.
-Go hom

Oh for my god moron Ny Havy juastadudua

-Faster! Faster! Faster! Faster!
-Take me to your Master!

One mistake will suffice! Don’t treat me lightly twice!

Take me to your Master!

Hmmm?

Mount up!

Get set! Go!

-None shall escape. Except for the princess, that we agreed.
-She is the price for my traitorous deed. (Mighty One-Eye gurring)

Their soldiers will cower behind these walls.
When they see that we have the three Golden Balls.

Tomorrow, I strike! And you shall ride at the front, Sorcerer.

Take the right flank! You the left flank!
Turret! Gate! Drawbridge!

-You take the women and children!
-Ready the Physicians.

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This is One-Eye magic, Sorcerer!

(laughing excitedly)

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It must be the One-Eye

One-Eyes! Attack!

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-Oh my god, my daughter!
-My daughter! My daughter oh my god!

My child! Help me! Help me to help her!

1

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Hmph. The Cobbler.

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Tack!!!

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RRAAGHHH

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Tack!

(whooshing)

(whooshing more)

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CROWD: Oh Sh*t

(Coughing)

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Tack!

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The greatest wizard has to know exactly when it’s time to... GO!!!

My friends, my friends, are you still here? I haven’t fed you yet I fear.

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Oh! My bottom! Oh! My top! Greedies! Don't you ever stop?

You too, Phido? Man's best friend? For Zigzag then, it is the end.

(Coughing)

-Throne!
-Throne!

(Mighty One-Eye screaming)

Oh my god!

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(whooshing)

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I give up

I’m going home.

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-Oh Tack, my Cobbler!
-My daughter! My wonderful daughter!

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(expl*sive whooshing)

The prophecy is fulfilled. The City owes you a great debt of gratitude,
oh Cobbler. How can we ever repay you?

Father.

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Gold!

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-I love you.
-I love you.

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♪ ♪

♪ ♪

What a story mark, See you later Bye.

♫ It’s so amazing So strange and so rare ♫

♫ That I can look to my side And find you standing there ♫

♫ The thought is so dazing I can’t believe my mind ♫

♫ To think that I now possess The dream my heart designed ♫

♫ I never thought ♫
♫ I never knew Against all odds ♫

♫ That we make it through ♫

♫ Somehow it's so amazing ♫

♫ Who could explain Who could predict ♫

♫ This love it's so amazing ♫

♫ Who ever thought ♫
♫ Who ever knew ♫

♫ Two different lives In their two different worlds ♫

♫ Somehow suddenly found Is this great new love ♫

♫ New love True love ♫

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♫ Bom, bom, bom, beem, bom Boolee, boolee, bibilli, boo ♫

♫ We’re what happens when you don’t finish school ♫

♫ Bom, bom, bom, beem, bom Boolee, boolee, bibilli, boo ♫

♫ We’re what happens when you don’t finish school ♫

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♫ That’s what happens when you don’t finish school ♫

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♫ That’s what happens when you don’t finish school ♫

♫ ...beem, bom Boolee, boolee, bibilli, boo ♫

♫ We’re what happens when you don’t finish school ♫

♫ Bom, bom, bom, beem, bom Boolee, boolee, bibilli, boo ♫

♫ We’re what happens when you don’t finish school ♫

♪ ♪

♫ I close my eyes and see his eyes So soft and warm and clear ♫

♫ I dream awake of holding her I dream that she’s right here ♫

♫ I sense in all his silences More than his words could say ♫

♫ Don’t fight your feelings says my heart A heart I will obey ♫

♫ Am I feeling love ♫

♫ Am I feeling love ♫

♫ Can it really be Happening to me ♫

♫ Am I feeling love ♫

♫ For sure a most unlikely match Implausible and strange ♫

♫ But one it seems my heart and I Refuse to rearrange ♫

♫ Am I feeling love ♫

♫ Am I feeling love ♫

♫ Can it really be Happening to me ♫

♫ Am I feeling love ♫

♫ I think I feel he'd be there for me ♫

♫ I feel I think I could be there for her easily ♫

♫ Am I feeling love ♫

♫ Am I feeling love ♫

♫ Could it really be Happening to me ♫

♫ Am I feeling love ♫

♫ Am I feeling love ♫

♪ ♪

♫ This first time feeling ♫

♫ So sweet of healing ♫

♫ It has me asking ♫

♫ Am I feeling love ♫

♪ ♪

(guitar solo)