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Honestly if youre.reading this I either I choose to show you or I killed myself.
You know I'm never going to forgive myself for what I did.
I was.your breaking point and you were going to kill yourself.tonight.
I feel like a.shell.if a.person I genuinely don't feel anything.
Maybe I am a fucking manipulator and a gaslighter.
I mean just look at this note I'm only bitvhing about myself.
I honestly should've let you leave me.
I only seem to bring disaster to my relationships.
I mean dani, lily, hans, March have all left me because it's clear I just play the victim and eventually the people in friends with become self aware and realize how awful I am.
Honestly I deserve to beaten and bruised.for.what I did to you.
There I go again I always make things about me.
Maybe that test was.right maybe I am just a.fucking psycho who can't feel.
God I sound so pathetic but that's probably just what I am a disgusting pathetic manipulator who's building you into staying.
I can't even cry sure I let out a few tears when you found out but that was probably because I was caught which shows in nothing more than a.disgusting gaslighter trying to gain sympathy.
I wish that I succeeded in killing myself it would've protected you from me.
This sounds so much like I'm built tripping.
You know what I'm not going to ever show you this.
So now that you're never going to see this might as well get real honest.
I really broke my sh clean I got pretty far I think I was at like seven months or something.
I'm going back to starving myself because whats the point anymore.
When I look at myself in the mirror I want to cut my body apart.
Yk I really thought that last night I was going to do it.
Finally get rid of myself.
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