Notes

I don't know if this would keep record of how I feel or think.
I should probably get ready to sleep seeing that I would be going to Valencia tomorrow.
I'm worried how is she though.
It seems that I really struck a nerve when I said hello to her grandmother.
She truly does hate me if she can't stand me talking to her grandmother.
She made her thoughts clear when she posted that photo.
I just have to stay away.
As far as I know, she is dealing with a relational problem and I just happen to be the one person whom she doesn't want popping into her life.
Though trying to ride by her areas of life isn't helping at all.
I wish she could see me when I'm riding by.
Enough of how I feel, it just seems like a waste of time now knowing that the chance of ever being with her is just a hopeless dream.

If this was a word to God, how appropriate would this be?
She still has faith in you, and she uses that as a reason to stay away from each other.
I want to be mad at you, but I know if I ever put myself into a relationship before going into the college year, I'd probably go broke before the end of the first semester.
And I would have to conform to you, which I wish could better than it sounds
And I look like there former step father,George, which doesn't help knowing they didn't end with a smile.
I wish I never turn into someone so aggressive and demanding, but I wish I wasn't so passive either; but that would be better than taking over. I just need to learn to build character


Tomorrow is going to be a new day. Everything would be bigger and hopefully better. I need to score as high as I can in order to skip with those simple high school classes so I could finish in my dream estimate of three years.
Once I can do that, I'll take tutoring in case I don't get any of the new material at the place I learned from the on line orientation.
I have to do better, and I must get the transcripts so I could finish with the financial paper work and hopefully if I get it all done, my fafsa will get bigger, because I don't know how I can pay for all the financial stuff on my own,and I know ma wouldn't pay a penny even if I asked, and would only make her stupid remarks about not applying to the scholarships that her friends recommended. I hate her lack of knowledge, and I hate that she thinks she knows better when I know she just likes to put up a show. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. My goal is to be better than all of those who live here, and I will. This is my chance.