Notes

My Other Enemy

It all started in the Underground Crime Bunker with Emily, Kenny, and newly recruited Caleb (yes, the nine year old skeleton)! They were all going over the previous heist. Kenny was pissed since all the money they got was a measly dollar bill. Seriously, this people needed heist help!! They had recruited Caleb because he had somehow tunneled in the Crime Bunker, which impressed Emily's simple ass. Anyway...
"Well, at least we got this dollar bill..." Emily said unenthusiastically while waving the wet dollar around.
"The heist was a complete failure," Kenny mumbled, "the only reason we have that dollar is because it fell out of somebody's pocket when we ran from the police!"
"Ra ra ra? (Do you guys always fail miserably?)," Caleb asked cautiously. He wasn't sure if Benny (the older bro! Yikes!) would approve of Caleb's new job...
"Money's money, Kenneth!" Emily shouted.
Kenny snickered, "just look at Cartman's mom!"
Meanwhile, outside of the elusive Underground Crime Bunker, police officers were gathering. They had gotten word of suspicious activity in the area, and it all lead back to here... One of the officers, H2O Delirious, was phoning in for backup. He had no idea who was in the bunker. Coincidently, Delirious was actually Emily's old babysitter/homie G. The story's plot thickens. Emily diffidently wouldn't know how to explain her slightly illegal (okay, very illegal) antics to Delirious... But, that's future Emily's problem!
Back in the Bunker, through all of Kenny's salty ass behavior and Caleb's annoying questions, Emily heard the faint, slightly familiar ring of... Police sirens!! She told her partners in crime immediately. Kenny grabbed her chest fur and muffle-shouted: "take the money and run!!" Emily nodded, they really needed to save that $1,407 they had accumulated over the three years they'd been criming it up! Kenny grabbed Caleb and his Black Tar Heroin and ran for the secret exit. Emily shoved the money in the sack (all of it!!) and also ran for the door! Just then, the police busted down the door and shouted the customary: "get down on the floor!!" But it was too late, The Crime Partners were already six miles down the road.
Kenny gave Emily a look, "where now, smart stuff?"
Emily gave him a sassy look, "are you implying that playing the heavy metal music at midnight in the Bunker proceeded to get us caught?!"
"Oh no, not at all! That's the most inconspicuous thing I've ever heard a human do if they're hiding from the police!" Kenny snapped.
Meanwhile, in the back of the tractor, Caleb was eating earthworms, dirt, and some of that good ol' fashioned BLACK TAR HEROIN. It was totally unsupervised, and Caleb loved it! Kenny was peeved now... Emily needed an ingenious plan if they were to escape the cops. They couldn't run away forever on Kenny's raggedy dumpster tractor... Emily brainstormed in the passenger seat for at least 3 seconds when...
"I got it!"
"Got what? Some common sense?" Kenny mumbled in irritation while swerving the tractor out of the other lane.
Emily pouted at his disrespect, "NO... I have an escape plan..."
Caleb looked up from his mud pie for a confused second, "ra?? (Escape?)"
Emily nodded proudly... "I know where we can hide!"
Kenny shook his head and sighed, "you wanna go hide with your boyfriend in the forest right?"
Emily blushed angrily, "Tom isn't my boyfriend!!" Then she added with tears, "he friend zoned me!!" Kenny watched her cry in disapproval. He didn't want to go back to the forest because Craig and Tim had... Problems with him... Sadly, he knew it was one of the only places they could hide. If he had to square up well... He'd square up...
"Fine, we will go there, but only for as long as it takes!" Kenny said, putting emphasis on the last words, "And no flirting."
Emily called him trifling and Caleb laughed then said, "RA... Ra ra ra ra Ra's ra ra? (WAIT... are you really Tom's girlfriend?" Kenny was amused for the rest of the ride to say the least.
When they finally made it to the Wick Forest, the sun was already starting to set. Kenny parked his tractor by the gate and jumped the fence, motioning to his friends to follow. Caleb gave an excited "Ra!" And tunneled under the fence and into the woods to visit his siblings. Emily awkwardly tried to climb over the fence and fell flat on her face. She gave a weak thumbs up from her face plant and Kenny rolled his eyes in amusement.
Kenny and Emily trudged through the forest for 15 minutes before finding a old cabin. Kenny looked at little creeped out at the rickety old house, but his tiger friend jumped up and down in excitement. Kenny gave her a interested look, "You know this place?"
Emily nodded frantically, "This is where the wick kids live!"
Kenny went rigid, "All of them?"
"Yup," she smiled, then added angrily, "sometimes Craig's bitch ass is here, too..."
Kenny shook his head, he didn't want to get jumped by white children. He suggested that Emily go in first and he'd follow. The pink tiger knocked on the door at least 56 times before something finally happened.
"Go get the door Lillian!" A lazy voice shouted, Benny of course, "I'm doing taxes!"
Then, the sassy reply, "oh my gosh, no no no! I'm doing my makeup, I wanna look good for my hot date tonight! Make Tim do it!"
Then a long silence, followed by a loud crash and someone crying, "OWWWW! I was running and I fell down the stairs and hurt myself!!"
Benny made loud footsteps as he walked toward the door and opened it for the partners in crime, "Come on in, I gotta go make sure Tim didn't break his legs..." Benny gave an irritated look and trudged toward the hallway, "Get out from under that table, Tim, stop acting like you're dead!"
Emily pranced inside and into the kitchen while Kenny slowly, but surely made his way in behind her. Kenny walked into the kitchen and couldn't help but smirk. Emily was leaning against the counter talking to Tom. Tom was wearing a green apron and baking some peanut butter cookies. He wasn't even wearing his mask and Kenny could see a scar carved into his left cheek. Tom was smiling until his face suddenly contorted into a disapproving expression. Emily had just told him that they needed to hide from the police. Kenny facepalmed. Why did she tell him that?
"I thought you weren't gonna do crimes anymore, Emily, I thought you were gonna work at my new Burger King!" The pale boy shouted in sass as he narrowed his amber eyes at her.
"But tommy!"
"Don't you try to butter me up, missy!"
Kenny quietly chuckled at the scene before him. Tom was the only one Emily wouldn't try to fight back with. This was hilarious.
"I'm not gonna allow you to stay in my cabin if you're committing crimes, Em!"
"Fine! I'll work at your restaurant! I like it better now that it isn't a Tree Orphan Stripclub!"
Record scratch.
Kenny looked at Tom in surprise and the bashful boy ducked his head quickly. Emily blushed and started to hum quickly and off beat. That was interesting to know.
"Um... It wasn't really a nasty place like that... It was just a place where the children of the corn congregated..." Tom said sheepishly with a little smile.
Emily gave him a look, "yep... Tom's their leader for some strange reason..."
Kenny sighed. You learn something new everyday. He walked over to the counter to stand by Emily. "So..? Is Tom gonna let us stay?" He asked in his muffled tone. They really needed to hide.
Emily looked at Tom with pleading kitty eyes, "please?.."
Tom limped over to her with a annoyed look and stared at her, "oh, what do you think?"
The LoveTiger pouted at him and crossed her arms. Tom's slitted pupils studied her pouty expression for a few seconds before saying, "you and your friend can stay for a little while..." Then he booped her nose and said smugly, "but I'm not gonna clean out your litter box!" The timer dinged. "Oh! The cookies are done!"
Kenny snickered as he looked at Emily's irritated face. "Disrespecting me in front of my friend..." She mumbled. Later, Tom lead the partners in crime into the basement and told them if they were hiding from the police they should probably sleep underground. Emily cheered with teary eyes, "it's just like our Underground Crime Bunker!" Kenny felt relieved, it was just like their home. After Tom had finished their tour of the basement, Kenny and Emily sat on a gaudy couch.
"Hey, Emily..." Kenny started, "I'm gonna need your help to dye my hair again.."
Yeah, Kenny was a ginger, but he always dyed it blonde so people wouldn't think that he had no soul. Emily looked at him in concern, "Ya know I'm running out of honey to put in your hair don't you?"
Kenny pulled the hood of his furry parka down to reveal faded blonde mixed with ginger. He looked at her as she squealed happily and pulled out a comb.
"Your hair is so fluffy and curly!" She started brushing her younger friend's hair while purring. Kenny grinned. He was glad that he had a friend like Emily.