Notes

Delirious loves Dashie

It all started on a late cold rainy thundery night. Dashie was binge watching spongebob and eating bags of cheetoes and twinkles and doughnuts. He was sad because Delirious's wife thought that he was a fat bitch. Dashie cried. All he wanted was a piece of that white booty. Alas, that'd never happen...
Meanwhile, outside of Dashie's small ugly gross dumb ugly house, there stood a dude. He wasn't an ordinary dude. He was Delirious! And he was gonna give Dashie a piece of his b-booty- MIND! But sadly, you can't break into houses without breaking the law, so Delirious broke into Dashie's house with his bare hands because he is amazing in every way! Soon, Dashie was horrified because he realized that the spongbob marathon was over! He started to cry and whine and complain and bitch and yell and disturb his new neighbors... Then he went to bed.
Later that night, Dashie was asleep in his cheap off-the-road bed that he took from a old person who was hoping to throw it away. It was real quality sleep. Delirious slinked around in the shadows of the hallways to Dashie! He laughed like a crazy professor guy and smirked at his next victim. Delirious was a serial killer, meaning he loved to eat boot- cereal! Dashie was dreaming of Wifelirious and her Nikki Manji butt... Yea... Delirious snuck into Dashie's room. He was too busy being happy that he carelessly stepped on Dashie's most prized belonging! A Link poster! Here's where things get rough. Dashie, with an internal feeling that Link's face was being squished by a dirty boot, shot out of his bed like a rocket ship. Delirious meowed in surprise because Nogla. When the plot thickens, Delirious becomes neko! Please kill me. Then, Delirious realized something amazing- he was in love with Dashie!
This is where Vanoss should stop reading. Dashie looked at Delirious in surprise and then he said in anger:
"Yo! what are YOU doing in my house?!"
Delirious said nothing as he advanced on Dashie. Dashie backed the freak up!
"Yo, homie, are you crazy!?"
Again, no reply from Delirious. He just smirked and came closer and closer until his mask bonked Dashie on the forehead!
"Wha!!" Delirious shouted for no damn reason. Dashie covered his eyes and his mouth and his ears and his alien tail.
Delirious broke out of OOCness for a split second to yell:
"Wait- alien tail?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!?" Then, I slapped him back into my story!
But then, things got sexy again... Dashie asked in a tone that only white female prostitutes use:
"What do you want from me, Delirious!?"
Delirious blinked in confusion. He was shocked that Dashie didn't get those Sexylirious vibes! Dashie knew damn well what Delirious wanted- dat booty!!
Still, though...
Dashie threatened to call the authorities on Delirious, that's when he crossed the bridge! Delirious pulled out a knife and held it to Dashie's chest.
Delirious said in a quiet voice: "I don't wanna have a problem with you, Mr. Dash..."
Dashie raised his hands slightly and looked at Delirious in fear.
"H-hey man, what's going on here?!"
Delirious giggled and purred: "nothing too serious- Mwahahahhahah!!!"
Dashie was scared to be honest. And he still didn't know what Delirious wanted. So, being the logical man he is, he smacked Delirious straight in his face! He smacked this fool so hard that loose change came out of his pockets! But most importantly...
Delirious's mask flew off his face and hit the wall and broke in half!! Delirious grabbed his face in horror! There was no way he could bang Dashie now!!
"No!!"
Dashie winced, that smack hurt his hand! He was about to take a picture of Delirious's face and post it on all sorts of social media. Maybe the picture would be enough to bring Cory out of the cave he was hiding in! But then... He made direct eye contact with Delirious and realized:
"Johnathan from high school?!"
Delirious gasped.
"Oh-my-goodness!! Charlie from high school?!?!"
It turns out that Dashie and Delirious were friends from high school! But, that didn't matter anymore!! Dashie was a traitor for breaking Delirious's mask! He tackled Dashie to the ground and smacked him!
"You big meanie face!! How dare you!!!" Delirious shouted as he smacked Dashie over and over. Dashie felt extremely uncomfortable being straddled by another man, so he shoved Delirious off him. He stood up and brushed Delirious's cooties off himself, then said:
"You're ugly!"
Delirious looked up at Dashie from the ground and whispered: " do you really mean that, Dashie?" His former unmasked friend sniffled with teary eyes.
Dashie was still a little intimidated by Delirious... He was taller than him after all! Then a little voice that suspiciously sounded like Nogla demanded:
" don't be intimidated Dashie! Just imagine him in his underwear!"
Dashie nodded solemnly.
He imagined Delirious in his underwear, but soon realized...
Dashie shouted: "oh no, he's hot!"
Delirious looked at him in surprise.
"Who's hot?! I wanna see them!!"
Dashie looked confused. Delirious noticed... This was his chance! He jumped up and ran to embrace Dashie.
"What the hell, man?!" Dashie shouted as he struggled.
Delirious kissed him right on the mouth!

XXX

After that eventful night, Nogla, who had filmed everything (Lenny face), was standing outside Wifelirious's house. He had just showed her everything, Vanoss was there, too, but for a different reason. He was just trying to give away some free Lambergouinis to the public because they were just materializing at his house. Wifelirious said she wasn't surprised. Vanoss felt bad for Delirious, but there really wasn't much that the Houdini spawn could do. Nogla, you snitch!
After that night, the next morning, Dashie woke up on the couch cuddling- DELIRIOUS?! Delirious was awoken by a raucous slap. He cried out in pain, then shouted in shock! Why was he half nude, and where was his mask?! He didn't remember what had happened the previous night until Dashie hesitantly explained it to him. Delirious said: "oooohhh...." Then he mischievously added, " sorry, but I was drunk." To put it shortly- Dashie was pissed.

The End (for now!!)