Notes

Today I felt like crap. Or just like any other day. I don't remember much when I was little or even 2 days ago. I fell like my Family isn't my family anymore, in 6th grade my mom and dad divorced since he hit my mother, when I was supposed to go to a dance my dad didn't let use. I had to do something no 11 or 10 year old should go through I had to call the police on my dad. When a person picked up she asked what my emergency was I was so scared my mom yelling "Annisa tell them!" while she was holding my dad back I froze I was so stupid why didn't I tell her I just said "my dad is hurting my mom!" she asked where I was then I said my address I wanted to disappear from the world.. before any of this I was bullied in 4th grade then 5th and the 7th 8th now I am in 9th grade so high school so I hope no one will hurt me at school now but i have been bullied in Private School or Catholic school. But all the people I like or fell in love with always ended up hurting me. And now in my time just a few weeks ago I cut myself from my Grandma death from me not helping her and my family forgetting me focused on my Brother ITS ALWAYS ALEC WHY HIM HE IS JUST THE SECOND CHILD OH HOW I HATE MY BROTHER'S GUTS SO BAD I JUST WANT TO KILL HIM SOMETIMES OR JUST SHUT HIM UP TIME TO TIME SO ANNOYING EVEN WHEN I WAS LITTLE. HE HAD BASEBALL I HAD SWIMMING HE GOT MY FATHERS LOVE AND MY MOTHERS AND THE REST OF MY FAMLIY. I REMEMBER ONCE IN MY LIFE ALEC HAD A BREAK FROM BASEBALL AND DAD WAS WITH HIMJ AND MY MOM HAD WORK SO MY DAD HAD TO TAKE ME TO PRACTICE. MY MOTHER GOES OUTSIDE WITH ME AND SITS BUT SHE HAS HER PHONE WITH HER ALL THE TIME BUT MY DAD DIDNT EVEN GET OUT OF THE CAR FOR ME HE DOSE FOR ALEC HIS PRACTICE IS LIKE A HOUR AND HE STAYS OUT SIDE EVEN WHEN IS LIKE 99 DEGRESS NO I GO THE SHORT END OF THE STICK OR BASEBALL BAT. DAD WAS IN THE CAR WITH ALEC TALKING ABOUT BASEBALL OR STUFF WHEN I CONFORNTED HIM ABOUT IT HE SAID HE WAS WATCHING ME BUT I NEW IT WAS A LIE I SAW HIM IN HIS TRUCK ALEC IN THE BACK TALKING AND I JUST STARED AT HIM BUT I WAS SNAPPED OUT OF IT WHEN MY COACH TOLD ME TO SWIM 50 BUTTERFLY......... I just Wish my father would notice me and support me no he gets anger with me. That was the past when my parents where still together. OH how I wish my parents would Love me. ~Annisa Maxwell Wednesday July 20 2016 1:38