Notes

Hi Orion. I don't know if you know this, but I adore you. I'm always watching and rewatching your YouTube videos (new and old), keeping up with your tweets, and I've always got my eyes peeled at Chapters in case I see your name on a hardcover. Now I know this message might seem a bit strange, but it is extremely important to me. I have a favour to ask of you, and a bittersweet story to accompany it. I'm sorry it it's weird that I'm telling you my life story, but I though I'd explain myself. I do hope you understand. So, here goes.
Basically, I had been depressed for a very long time, and over the years things seemed to get worse and worse. Later, I was diagnosed with bulimia, anxiety disorder, and borderline personality disorder. Let's just say my mother wasn't very supportive or helpful when she found out about my eating disorder, and things just seemed to go downhill from there. So naturally,I turned to my friends. I had to great friends at the time (I turned to them because I had just moved away from my best friend, and I felt I needed immediate support). They were very helpful, but as any human does, they had problems of their own. I soon overcame bulimia, with the help of these friends. However, as any group of friends does in High School, things and people started to change. I felt like I was no longer wanted in my friend group, and so I left. Ever since, people have made up lies and put words in my mouth to make me seem like the bad guy to those 2 friends, destroying any trust I had between 1 of them. I managed to rekindle my friendship with 1 of them, but back in December, she stopped talking to me completely and blocked me on every site possible. Before, when I first left, I constantly questioned myself, but when the second friendship ended, I realized something. I realized that it was okay, that I couldn't have changed anyone's mind. Not only that, but I realized how detrimental those 2 relationships were to my happiness. I've moved on from those relationships now and hold no grudges, but its made me realize my worth and helped me grow so much as a person. The reason for this whole story is to tell you that you are an inspiration to me. I aspire to be half as amazing as you are, because along with the ending of those friendships, you also helped me realize how much I'm worth and how beautiful I truly am. You've influenced me to appreciate the small things and find happiness in myself, to not count on anyone to bring me happiness. For this reason, I have a favour to ask of you. For my tattoo, I was hoping to get something symbolic of my growth as a person, and a reminder that I'm //constantly// growing as a person. I was hoping to get it on my left forearm, to cover one of my scars that is still visible. I know its not probable that I'll meet you to be able to do this in person since I live in ottawa, but I wanted to know if maybe you could send me a photo of the words "in bloom" in your writing for my first tattoo? And maybe add some delicate flowers? It would mean the absolute world to me considering you are the one who has so positively influenced my life and my mindset, and because I love and admire you so much. Love always, Alynah ❤