Notes

personally i cry at just about everything. sad, happy, or otherwise. my constant paranoia doesnt help. being so emotional has its down falls. well being so emotional is mainly downfalls. for instance missing you isnt a disappointed smile or even a few tears, its a stomach ache and gripping fear that i'll never see you again. and. its a text that i dont send because "she's fine, your head is going wild and you're being silly" then i realize we havent talked in two days and.. maybe she isnt fine.
and my manic cravings for your touch or kiss or even just your voice is like a hydraulic press on my chest. every. single. time. i breathe its like a python around my body that wants to swallow me whole constricting slowly, cardiac arrest, suffering.
but then you text me that you are coming over, you call me love and pull me out of another panic attack without even having a clue. you get here and you wrap me up with your love, its warm and sweet and a little heavy but in the best way. the smile you give me tells me you will never not be there and my inside crawls and they bubble and flip and i smile back at you because i believe everything you have ever told me verbal or not.