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Life is like a puzzle, not all the pieces come together, and..when they do its to late. Since the divorce its been crazy! One thing after another. Its to much for me to handle! I don't know what to do anymore, or how to help.
Dad, his clueless! First, he leaves mom. then, he changes who he is, its like i don't even know him... in a way. Not the guy i thought. Now, he wants to buy mom out of the house. What!!! Dad, what the fuck??? who are you??
I'm worried about mom! I've seen her fight to keep living, and sometimes she looks me in the eye and says "I give up, i'm sorry!' "Noooo!!!" i'll tell myself! The house and me are the only things she has. She can't lose it!!!! she suffers to much already!! I need her!!! God, please help me!! Help her!! she doesn't deserve this!!! She works to hard to get knocked down, again, and i don't think she'll get back up.
and Mo, he was diagnosed with Asperger's. he has major anger issues, and it scares me. Sometimes when mom isn't home, he'll threaten me. he'll get violent, and there's nothing i can do about it.
i feel like if i collapse the family will just drift away, die. so... i fight, my hardest!! i am sick of fighting, all i want to do is curl up and disappear. i want to cry, and have someones shoulder i can cry on. But, there is no one who wants to here this, so i'm writing to me. Shit!! i am a mess! if it was like old times, i would be talking to Hannah, but now, nothing is like what it use to be, sometimes i just want it to go back. i need Hannah!! she is the one that comforts me, she's always been the one.
there are a lot of people in the world, that have way worse problems then this!!! what it really boils down to, is...i don't want to lose her! and i can see it coming, nobody else can. But, i see it!
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