Notes

dear diary Tuesday 2 august summer 16
today is going alright I guess but I haven't been felling myself for along while now I don't really like going out with people nut then I don't like staying in with my family because all that ever happens is that we argue and I get the blame for most of the things that happen because I'm the oldest but if I try and tell them then they say leia don't be so fucking stupid and prophetic.
about a month ago I started self harming again it help with the pain for a bit but then I thought about killing myself and I thought it was time and tried to stop again before it gets worse. but that was when I was in a relationship well I liked him for 4 years straight and then I finally got with him the first and second week of the us being together was okay but then he started to let me down a lot and all my mates where falling out with me and telling me to brake up with him because hes not wroth any of my time and I stuck by him because I loved him I still do but we broke but after a month of being together and we haven't spoke since but then he message me about 4 days ago early hours of a thurdays morning telling me he still loves me and he misses me I was scared and worried that it was a lie but I still haven't spoke to him but I told some of my mates about it and they said if I was u I would just bin him off now before anything gets serious I felt like shit for a couple of days I still do now its hard when u see them out and u cant talk to them because they are older than u and there mates didn't know about us epsept one of his mates new and when we broke up his mate was there for me and told me to move on and find someone else he isn't worth u getting upset over and I still stud by him and didn't move on until aj came into my life and told me that he really liked me and I liked him a little to so we started linking and but then he would message me and then when I message back he would reply 2 hours or 2 days later it would make me feel like shit well I didn't think it would last and it didn't well I'm getting ready and going out so I will right more later byeeeeee