Notes

Hey.....I just wanted to tell you a few things....This is really hard for me to tell you this. Bur here I go. I gell for you the second I saw you looking ay me. I looked back at you and just kinda shook you off. Days went by and you went into my heart like a rain drop falling into an ocean. our smile hooked me, your laugh, made me smile. Then your personality put me down. You made it seem like it was going to last. You made it look like you would stand by me. See, You "made" it look. I trusted you. I gave you my heart and you dropped it like if it was just an abandon broken toy car. You didn't care. I fell hard christaphor. Before I knew it, I was in love with you. I was in love with someone who didn't care about me. I mean it's obvious you hate me. Iris heard you. To you it was really easy to say I guess. That hit me so hard, I felt sadness in my heart, my stomach felt like it was being turtored. But you never knew. You know why? You didn't know that I was slowly dying inside because I knew you didn't care. Did you know that you eyes were the only thing that shined brighter than the stars. To me. I know "it's only one person who thinks that, it doesn't mean it's true" don't worry tho I'm used not being enough........For anyone....I'm not the greatest,prettiest,smartest,skinniest,happy girl in the world. But no one knows that I try, I try so much! And for what?! I'm useless,ugly,fat,stupid,disgrace,mistake,worthless,crazy.........I don't belong here. But you gave me that light to lead me to the right decision. But you dropped me. Yeah I broke up with you, but only because you loved Gaby. You needed her. I knew that I'd never be her. That killed me. I awkays thought maybe I'm not perfect enough, maybe I'm not pretty at all. Maybe I am just worthless. You were hurting me... and you knew. You were just a drop in the rain. That hit me. In the face, close to my eye and became a tear of hurt for life. My friend asked me one "why is he so special?" I responded with 'I dont know. He just broke me and burried me deeper than anyone has have. But I guess I wasn't worth it. He loved her while I loved him..& they way he looked at me when we used to sit across from eachother. Made believe those beautiful brwn eyes. Full of lies.......' . I still love you to this day, but I don't need you. That's all I wanted to say before my last goodbye. Have a beautiful life chris. -Love Fernanda.......