Notes

Wow so literally sitting here, contemplating on my life. Thinking about how heart broken I am, how shattered I am. Staying up overthinking? No it's all the truth. I was so loyal, I was giving everything, still willing too. Whether or not this make's sense or not? I was the best, gave everything I possibly could. You played me, and i still Love you. More than once, you're still going, I want too get over it but I can't, I can't compare to her, and it's killing me, I let you in deeper than anyone else has ever been. Mentally fucked and you're happy. If you're not you'll twist the story so much. You're so two faced too me, you have back stabbed me? Love of my life? worst nightmare. Im still attached, I don't wanna let go. Ive hurt myself physically over you hoping it will end, seeing yuou happy is good, but it hurts that its noty with me. I'm so use to doing everything with you, and i have to get out of that routine, relying on you. Loosing friends over you, family. Lying for you. Still my brain dosen't want to accept the fact that you're bad, bad for me. I don't want to hold on any longer, you will never mature, you'll continue to hurt me. I guess embarrassing and cheating oin me makes you feel good and i'm glad it does. I hope when you see me crying you feel on top if the world, cause your happiness is truely mine. I hope noone ever puts you through what you put me through, hope they love you and make you their priority. Won't embarrs you infront of other people to make themselves better, hope they are loyal, hope they give you what I couldnt. When you look at your next I hope you see me, but treat them better than what you did me. Hope he isnt keeping you up late crying, or cutting. Or where it gets to the point where you're taking drugs to feel numb. Hope he dosent abuse, or fuck you up so bad that you no longer have feeling, you've built yourself up to be a heartless bitch. You've pushed me too my breaking point and baby girl hope the next dosen't with you, i'm sick of being a rebound, I was never the love of your life. I was the second choice.