Notes

she sits on her bed crying wondering why god put her on this earth she made up many different reasons to make herself feel better but they never lasted long. She took her Hanna Montana bulletin board down of the wall turned it around and wrote a little story...No one but her would know it was there. Just her little secret. She wrote a sad story. Sad for a 11 year old at least. She wrote about a depressed little girl (herself) who had gotten so tired of her parents yelling about her and to her and everything that she ended her life...She overdosed on her own medication. This 11 year old knew quite a bit about suicide because of the crime shows she watched with her mom and brother. She made the story of the little girls 1 year anniversary of her death and her parents didn't remember it or her. The only one that did was the brother who said "guys its the 1 year anniversary of Jane's death" and her parents asked "who's Jane?". The little girl felt that her parents would have actually forgotten about her. But not her brother. No not him. They were close. They did fight but they were still close and she wasn't even thinking that much about it while writing about it. she just wrote it as she saw it. She kept it up on her wall for months. After a while she got paranoid and the feeling of how she thought she would be forgot got stronger. She wanted to get rid of it before anyone saw. One day when she was home alone she ripped the back off the Hanna Montana bulletin bored and threw it away. During the months of it on her wall she would walk around her room looking for ways to hurt herself. To kill herself. She couldn't use the pills like in her story she wasn't sure how many and if she had enough she thought she could break her mirror and use the glass but what if she didn't die and just suffered and lived after that. She decide to wait till she got a little older to do it. But when she got old enough she want to do it ASAP it was a terrible feeling she had and she wanted it to end. She cried herself to sleep almost every night and she was tired of it. She thought one night soon it would be all gone. She battled with this depression for 4 more years and dint get any better. She still wants to die even at this very moment. She wants to get better but in a world of hate its hard. She has learned to lie so when she tells herself its okay she almost believes it...but shes not that good. maybe one day she will get better maybe she wont the story hasn't gotten that far yet and it might never get that far...Only time can tell...