Notes

it is something very similar to confussion, I mean you could have noticed that I really feel something for her but when she acts like that my ilussions comes down because of her assignment to make me feel bad, even if i could get a better form to get her heart I couldnt show that to her, maybe someday she gets how much I aprecciate her but I dont know maybe she never gets that and I get alone till one year, Im gonna start some new things in my life and I would like to change or make some changes in my life that includes her and all my feelings, all my preferences to something maybe could be something big, you know, something that you would really get surprised, maybe I could be as I were 2 or 3 years ago maybe with this amazing music taste you know changing that little things could help to improve my "trying to change lifestyle thing". Maybe could be something really awesome maybe I should have done this before, maybe someday i regret of all this weird thing with her but WHO GIVES A FUCK MEN!!!!
But I dont know men somatimes when I see her I fell in love with her and I would like to go running to her and tell her how much feelings I have for her and how great those are I would like to tell her but I know that shes different and she has changed a lot this days and she knows that i havent done nothing wrong but she acts so FUCKI weird and i dont freaking know what the fuck is goin on with her why the fuck she acts like that why the fuck she is lke that with me maybe im crazy but as much as i know i havent done nothing bad to her. Maybe (i dont think so) one of my friend has betrayed me maybe one of that sons of a bitch has told her something wrong about me i dont frigging know what the fuck have they told her about me but im pretty sure that shes kinda mad or acting like that because of that. That day man, that day was awesome we were on the theater and we werent even seeing the movie she was telling me whatever the ell she wanted to tell me i was so happy because i like how she speaks to me man, i dnot know she makes me feel confident and good that day she was whispering every word to my ear and everytime she does that i feel good man, she makes me feel good, it makes me feel nervous and good, ythat day she smelled so good i remeber that i told her that she smelled so good like 3 or 4 times and she just said "thanks" and smiled and that makes me feel good, we werent even seeing the movie she was telling me some things that i couldnt even remember because i wasnt paying attention i just wanted to kiss her wanted to kiss her and make her mine, you know, at least enjoy for a moment that good feeling when she was happy with me when she used to treat me of the good way of the way i would lke to be treated with her, the way that was before she turned cold and distant. Man i love is im gona do this for you because i want to do this for you and i would really like to show this to her and show her how much i would like her to be my girl, treat her how she deserves to be treat, make her forget everything of her past make her feels good and loved, I mean I really love seeing her smiling to me or telling me something that makes her happy. She is something that is not mine but i dont want to anyone else.

But you know, life goes on and i have to keep trying with differents girls or people which makes me feel good, make some new friends, make some new relationships, forget about her make her something of my past ,she was just a game and i lose in that game id like to try again but i wont. because even if i wanted to she wont and i will not try in something that i already have lost, life continue and i will assume that, she a close page in life book, ill forget her ill forget about her, ill