Notes

I blew my chance with the girl I thought I was going to spend the rest of life with. I wish I could just have one more chance to fix it all but I guess it's too late for that. I've never gone a day without thinking about you and I really wish I could. Whenever I think about you I just burst into tears. Writing this right now makes me cry. Just thinking about all that has happened between us makes me cry. Right after homecoming I knew I was going to fall in love with you. When I first saw you during the summer testing you stood out to me. Then we got lucky enough to be in the same one day group. I wanted to go up to you and talk to you but I was to nervous. Then you came up to me and I got so excited when I got home I thought about you the whole time I couldn't wait to go to school the next day. Everyday we got closer and closer and I looked forward to school. Now I could be switching and I can't believe life is where is it now. I can't even think straight anymore. I think that you are just overwhelmed because there has been so much that has happened between us and you don't even know where to start if we talked again. I felt the same way at one point but now I just try to forget about the past and think about now. Every day feels like a year when I think about you. I have this feeling in my stomach, it feels like butterflies but bad ones. I've thought about you so much that sometimes I forget that its 4pm and I haven't had anything to eat yet. I'd feel really stupid if this had to do with my looks, hopefully it doesn't. I wish I could be perfect for you I really do. Waiting until Saturday has been the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. In the end I hope I can just hug you one more time...