Notes

It’s pretty sad when you start noticing your own world crumbling all around you and having no way to stop it. I feel like things are just a natural blur, and there isn’t a way to clear it up anytime soon.
I was alone, lonely, and looking for something to do. I gave my brothers money to go buy some ice cream in the town. That never made my day until I meet Mr. Tom. I knew Mr. Tom for sometime now and I’d always ask him to do something for me around outside or inside. As I saw doing his daily walk routine, it’s no doubt for me to call him oh what a fine gentleman he was indeed. Tricking him to come inside was my suitable plan. I don’t know what came over me as I start feeling affection towards him. So then, I grabbed him without hesitation and kissed him oh my how it almost made my day unhazy. All I wanted was someone who would care about me as I reckon having no friends at all.
I usually am good at holding my feelings and my mask of happiness until today how I almost lost it. That grandstand lawyer Atticus harassed me in front of the whole court today and I just couldn’t stand it. Trying to hold on on the fact that my pa would hurt me again if i didn’t lie about Tom but Atticus is a nosy know it all that i couldn’t do anything. All i could do was sit there and take it all in. I began to shake and my eyes began to fill with water, like I was some beast caught in a small cellar waiting for the kill to start bursting out everything I had.
I couldn’t breathe anymore, I didn’t want to be there anymore. I wanted to go. Wanted to run. In every way possible, i just couldn’t. My head was already emerged into the deep water abyss.