Notes

Perhaps it is for the best, I've matured and changed as a person too. I would make different decisions now than the ones I made when I initially met you but why don't you give me the chance to express how I feel and say goodbye now that you have actually responded to me? I have lost family members, ran away from home, had arguments and disputes and for months I have tried to reach out to you through all these situations. At the time I actually just wanted a hug or response from some people to tell me that everything would be okay but everything I've been through I've mostly pulled through it by myself. I've grown past the habits now and I have literally grown past putting my heart on my sleeve for other people.

I guess that also means you can't join me for laser tag, zorbing, paintballing, going to concerts, riding a hot air balloon, travelling and the other plans I have when my life is more together, so what I'm going to do is respect that and let you move on but maybe we would have had a way better friendship if we knew each other like that. I do think I could have formed better relationships with so many people, of more value, the kind where you feel someone is just as attuned as you are and you can have deep conversations and debates.

You say you have lots of troubles, If you really think about it, the right people in your life should be pulling you through your troubles and supporting you, helping you to have fun and get in touch with old hobbies and aspects of your personality that you felt you transitioned from due to difficult events in your life or outgrew and when someone has you in their best interest, they will accept you through every transition you make, be it good or bad.

I guess it's because most people can't see that positive side of me through my habits and mistakes and deep down I know my good qualities that would have come out if they knew me better, If I made better decisions and they just had more opportunities and time for me to be able to see this for themselves and so I can do things that benefit their lives rather than things I regret, I also know what I am actually able to bring to the table as well, it kind of frustrates me to have to miss memories and people, accept it as a part of life and say goodbye.