Notes

You see I always thought I was like the nicest person.Would never want to bring anyone down, always was there when someone "needed" me , And never understood how people could post shit about how other things turned them into a bitch and practically saying how they were proud of being rude and disrespectful. But like fuck that, I mean I'm tired of being so forgiving Ill I ever do is get hurt or lied to. So why be nice to all the people who fucked me over ,brought me down, and disrespected me? Calling me shit like "bipolar" when i have a right to get mad over little things when they all add up, like when i break down i do it for "attention" saying shit like "lauren you're a big girl" but like, WHY the FUCK would i want to look weak and vulnerable 24/7 .AS IF i have a right to complain that I'm getting shit handed to me left and right. like i fucking don't and i know that. So why do i have to be on the verge of breaking down or breaking shit non-stop? like I don't want to fucking feel this way you piece of shit. I don't want to post shit like this for every random ass person to see and comment there opinions on something when the barely know the half of it. I fucking WANT someone I could actually go to and not feel like I'm bothering them and won't regret telling them two seconds later and you know what? You should be that fucking person but you're to busy thinking I'm "crazy" .After not even listening to a word I said. You never cared how my day was, what i was thinking about, why the fuck I'm really so vulnerable. Acting like I didn't give you a chance to say your point of view, but when i DO ask you to fucking respond you have "nothing to say" like excuse me? what was that? i'm sorry did i really repeat this in my head a thousand times trying to get it perfect to where you could understand why i'm the way i am and why i freak out so easy. Did it not take two hours of repeating in my head "say it ,fucking say it ,fucking say it" for a FUCKING blank ass look in your face AS IF you couldn't comprehend what i said? like no you didn't want to you fucking hear it. You want me to ignore it and pretend like everything is fine because you don't fucking care. So, if you didn't care why the fuck are you still here? You know I don't just give up on people, always thinking "people will change" saying "i'm done" &"i give up" everyday but always having "one more" thing to say? So why are you still taking advantage of that?